Follow You Down

by Gin Blossoms

Did you see the sky
I think it means that we've been lost
Maybe one less time is all we need
I can't really help it if my tongue's all tied in knots
Jumping off a bridge, it's just the farthest that I've ever been

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

I know we're headed somewhere, I can see how far we've come
But still I can't remember anything
Let's not do the wrong thing and I'll swear it might be fun
It's a long way down when all the knots we've tied have come undone

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

How you gonna ever find your place
Running in an artificial pace
Are they gonna find us lying face down in the sand
So what the hell now, we've already been forever damned
Anywhere you go I'll follow you down...

Gaya-gaya

Sabi nga ng friend ko, if someone wants to create a bond with someone else, he/she copies what the other person does... In this case, pwede na rin yun, pero actually natuwa lang ako sa entry ni Jace (eyo baby!). Of course, I've found that whenever I read descriptions of the zodiac sign Leo, I often just find myself shaking my head and just affirming that I might have been born to the wrong sign. I'm more open-minded now, I would say right now my personality as a Leo is 40% developed, 40% undeveloped or hidden, and 20% I-don't-know-what-the-hell-they're-talking-about. HAHAHA! So here you guys.. I'll make a few comments I guess, and then you can judge for yourselves!

Leo

Traditional Leo Traits

Generous and warmhearted

Creative and enthusiastic

Broad-minded and expansive

Faithful and loving

On the dark side....

Pompous and patronizing

Bossy and interfering

Dogmatic and intolerant

The Leo type is the most dominant (sometimes I guess..), spontaneously creative (hmm.. 20% of the time) and extrovert (eek, this is NOT true) of all the zodiacal characters. In grandeur of manner, splendor of bearing and magnanimity of personality, they are the monarch's among humans as the lion is king of beasts (yeah, i don't think so). They are ambitious (maybe), courageous(not really), dominant(sometimes), strong willed(when i'm inspired), positive(NO), independent(haha!), self-confident(NO) there is no such a word as doubt in their vocabularies(hahaha NO!), and they are self-controlled(uh, sometimes). Born leaders, either in support of, or in revolt against, the status quo (don't know about this). They are at their most effective when in a position of command, their personal magnetism and innate courtesy of mind bringing out the best of loyalty from subordinates(hmmm I don't know about this). They are uncomplicated, knowing exactly what they want and using all their energies, creativeness and resolution to get it, as well as being certain that they will get whatever they are after (definitely no on this one). Their followers know where they are with Leonians. Leonians think and act bigger than others would normally dare; the ambitiousness of their schemes and idealism sometimes daunt their followers, their practical hardheadedness and ability to go straight to the heart of any problem reassures those who depend on them. If Leonians meet with setbacks they thrive on the adversity.(i'm not sure)

On the whole they are powers for good, for they are strongly idealistic, humane, and beneficent (yeah maybe i'm still working on it). They have powerful intelligence and are of a broad philosophical, sometimes religious, turn of mind (woah, not really). Those who are devout may become very obstinate in upholding traditional beliefs and will cling tenaciously, but with complete sincerity, to practices and doctrines which liberal thinkers regard as absurdly out-of-date (i don't know about this, i'm more for the contemporary frame of mind). These will be found as the 'lions' of industries, and in the forefront of the cutting edge of technologies (hahaha i wish maybe in the future).

Their faults can be as large in scale as their virtues, and an excessively negative Leonian can be one of the most unpleasant human beings imaginable, displaying extreme arrogance(haha sometimes), autocratic pride(sometimes), haughtiness(sometimes), and excessive hastiness of temper(most of the time! but i'm working on this one). If jealously suspicious of rivals, they will not hesitate to use cunning, lies and trickery to discredit them(woah! i don't think i've ever really done this). Self-centeredness, greed for flattery, boastfulness, and bombast, pomposity, snobbish superiority, and overbearing, and intolerant disdain of underlings; to whom they will nevertheless delegate the carrying out of minor details in their grandiose schemes, and from whom they are not above borrowing immoderately if an occasion necessitates it (i think i know a certain Leo who can fess up to all these qualities... hahaha!). Any of these can be characteristic of Leo. Add to them a passion for luxury(yep definitely me), a lust for power(not really), unlimited sexual lust(hahaha ;P), and emotional indulgence(yeah quite), and a character emerges that no one would want to know either in public life or private. But their pride may go before a fall, as uncontrolled impetuosity is likely to bring them low. Fortunately it is rare that a Leo is so undisciplined as to give way thoroughly to this list of vices, and their tendencies to them are usually balanced by an innate wisdom. Those who are afflicted with them also have the intelligence it takes to consciously and actively overcome them(yeah hopefully so).

Possible Health Concerns...

Physiologically, Leo governs the upper back, forearms, wrist, spine and heart. Its natives are subject to a number of ailments: pain in the back and lungs, spinal complaints, diseases of the heart and blood, sickness in ribs and sides, convulsions, pleasantries, violent burning fevers including, in former days, when they were prevalent, plague, pestilence, jaundice, and some afflictions of the eyes. (I don't know about all of this..)

LIKES
Speculative ventures -check
Lavish Living -check
Pageantry and Grandeur -not really
Children -not YET i guess
Drama -yes!

DISLIKES
Doing things safely -huh?
Ordinary,Day to day living -yeah true
Small minded people -hahahah i guess so
Penny pinching -yeah

Mean spiritedness -yes

PROBLEMS THAT MAY ARISE FOR YOU, AND THEIR SOLUTIONS (no comment!)

As with all sun signs, we all have unique traits to our personalities. When these traits are suppressed, or unrealized, problems will arise. However, with astrology we can examine the problem and assess the proper solution based on the sun sign characteristics. As a Leo you may see things below that really strike home. Try the solution, you most likely will be amazed at the results. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the negatives below, it is because you are failing to express the positive.

Problem: Getting all upset and angry with others when things do not go the way you fully expected them too. This kind of reaction to a problem is what causes a lot of marital discord and unhappiness.

Solution: You should never base all of your expectations on what you should get, but rather base them on what you can give to, or do, for those who are in your sphere of influence. You will find you have a more peaceful and happy home if you do this.

Problem: You are sometimes your own worst enemy, especially so when you are striving for attention in such obvious ways that you turn off the very people you sought to impress.

Solution: The first place to start is to stop trying to gain attention; give people the chance to notice the real you. Decide what it is that impresses you and you will then know what to do to impress others.

Problem: Egotism, to the extent that you may be the Leo who thinks no one is quite as good at things as you are and the people around you are made to feel small through your habit of comparison.

Solution: What the higher minded Leo has is a sense of self worth and of greatness, this is corrupted when you let the ego get out of hand so you should learn to walk tall by looking up to those that are 'taller' than you are.

Problem: Losses in income from unwisely speculating which leads to financial ruin, as well as possible personal losses of family and friends due to a lack of concern for their financial welfare.

Solution: You should always investigate all investments well before they are made, then talk it over with your spouse as to how hard the budget can be hit, before you spend the first dime.

Famous Leos:

Emperor Napoleon

Coco Chanel

Matthew Broderick

Deng Xiaoping

Kenny Rogers

Christian Slater

Alfred Hitchcock

Fidel Castro

Whitney Houston

Dustin Hoffman

Lucille Ball

Queen Elizabeth

Martin Sheen

Dessert

Heaven in a slice.. 

I love desserts. I even love going to DADS buffet just to get a plateful of desserts, never mind the roast beef and all. There's something about sweets that just seems to complete my life (or maybe my stomach). To prove this, when I went to Rome last May, one of the first things I wanted to try was a real Italian Tiramisu. Hahahaha! So there.

I think this might say something about my personality. I also love romance. I've actually always been a hopeless romantic, something I realized as I was talking to one of my high school friends who declares herself as an almost-cynic. Hearing how unimportant romance is in her life just made me realize the abundant presence of it in mine. Not only because I'm in a relationship that's lasted for more than 5 years, but also coming from discussions with my friends about an endless array of experiences gone bad (and sometimes good), and also because I've pretty much committed myself to watch every romantic hollywood film that comes out, not to mention my oh-so-favorite tv shows filled with teen angst. In my mind I always play out romantic scenes between characters I've recently come to know, whether in books, on tv or in the movies. I'm not sure if this is caused by an overactive imagination or just plain old psychosis. Anyway, the point is, love has always been attached to sweetness hasn't it? If the thought of love actually introduced sugar into a person's system, I think I would definitely be a diabetic by now.

Busy

Hey guys, can't be distracted right now I have an interview tomorrow for a sponsorship of training in Oracle.. so I'll chat with you guys on wednesday after the interview oki? Bye for now!!

Ash

FRIENDS

Here I go again...

Today I'm going to talk about my friends. There are 6 of them, and I've known them for around 10 years. They've gotten me through a lot of tough times, made me laugh on the worst days of my life, and given me advice on life, love and all the crap in between. I wouldn't be who I am now without them, and I wanted to share with you the wonders that are.. my F.R.I.E.N.D.S:

	Ross is a paleontologist (spare us the fossil talk, huh?), thrice divorced, with a son from his first wife, Carol (who turned out to be a lesbian) and a daughter from Rachel, his third wife and the love of his life. He considers himself an academic, even calls himself a doctor whenever he can get away with it (or even if he can't, although he does have a PhD). His intellect isn't what I like about him though. He is incredibly sensitive, and his love for dinosaurs doesn't stop him from loving his friends all the more, and making him, in my opinion, the sweetest guy in the group.
Joey is a not-so-brilliant actor who has had an on-off relationship with his soap opera "Days of Our Lives"(which he lovingly calls DOOL). He's generally a guy's guy: loves sports, drinks beer, makes a mess, and LOVES to eat. There's no reason to feel sorry for him, if that's what you're thinking. He's not only a guy's guy, he's also a lady's man! Over the years he's had more than his share (or I should say several guys' share) of women. He loves his friends, and we love him too, but aside from his love for meatball sandwiches, though, Joey hasn't really found the love of his life. We're still crossing our fingers.
	Monica is Ross's sister, and together, they can be called 'The Gellers'. This girl has had a lifelong chip on her shoulder, caused by parents who've been eternally hard to please, owing to the fact that their favorite is her geeky older brother (ahem, AKA Ross). So it's no wonder Monica is a perfectionist. It's an understatement that she likes things CLEAN. She hates knowing that someone hates her, and her greatest hobby is organizing. She is also a fabulous cook. That IS her profession after all.
Phoebe is a 'unique'. Monica and Rachel also describe her as 'flaky'. Her lifestyle has always been the oddest of all 6. She's a vegetarian, and is against all things related to animal abuse including wearing furs. Having been orphaned at a young age has led her to many experiences, ranging from the amusingly strange to the downright nasty. *a pimp once spit in her mouth*she found a thumb in a soda can*she once mugged for a living*she had French lessons behind a garbage dump*her biological mom was in a threesome with her known mom and her father*she once shot a cop*
	Rachel was the last one to join the group. She had no idea that she was about to get to the best years of her life when she entered Central Perk, wet wedding dress and all, and left, not only her orthodontist fiance, but her daddy's credit cards, for a life of her own. The rest of the group (upon Monica's insistence) welcomed her into their lives. And after ten years, she'd proven herself as an independent woman, executive in the fashion industry, a wonderful mom, and a great friend. The perfect combination of beauty and humor makes this girl such a fun person to be with.
Chandler has always been my favorite. He embraces humor in his life, and however corny his jokes can be at times, he himself always cracks me up. His love life until Monica came consisted entirely of relationships gone bad (starting from his father and mother who divorced because his father found out that he was gay). He's never really been great with the ladies, and he knows so little about relationships that you can't help but feel sorry for him. As for his occupation, he used to do statistical analysis of data for a multinational company, and later decided to shift to advertising, which he did very well. He hates dogs, is good at table tennis, and used to be in the swim team. He is also Ross's old college roommate.

By now you've probably realized they're not really my friends, but the characters on the show 'FRIENDS'. I wasn't kidding when I said they got me through tough times, though. There was a time when my day wasn't complete without watching several episodes of the show. Somehow it makes me realize that life can be so much less frustrating if you can just laugh it all off. So for those people who are under a lot of stress, I suggest a dose of 'FRIENDS', I swear it's totally worth it.. By the way, I wanna thank my REAL friends.. my best friend Steph, Michelle, Jessie, Paul, Gino, Cha, Lia, Arvs, Cocoy, Pat, Mike, all the 'Indakers' I've had the chance of meeting, my neighborhood friends: Denise, Karisse and Iris, my high school and grade school friends (there are a lot of you but I especially remember..) Val, Jules, Jeps, Che, Kristine, Vanz, Nerissa, Ala and Prana, my baby Jace who is the love of my life, and all of you out there who have given me REAL laughs, REAL tears, and real advice. Thanks for being with me through all of it. I hope we can be together soon.. I miss you guys.

MWAH!

Thanks to the 'Friends Art Museum' for the graphics, by Nory Onuda.

Scared

I am so scared.. I feel like I am so GREEN... green with inexperience. I learned a lot during college, but it's like I've lost everything. I'm so unconfident with my skills... I feel like I'm never gonna find a job... I wish I could go back and just absorb everything I've been taught...

Patience

Shed a tear cause I'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Boy, I think bout you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now

Said "Baby, take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience"
(patience)
Mmmm, yeah

I sit here on the stairs Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now I'll wait dear
Sometimes I get so tense but I can't speed up the time
But you know love there's one more thing to consider

Said baby take it slow and things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, I'll never break it
Cause I can't take it

little patience, mmm yeah, mm yeah
need a little patience, yeah
just a little patience, yeah
some more patience, yeah
could use some patience, yeah
gotta have some patience, yeah
all it takes is patience
just a little patience
is all you need

WITNESS

There are so few people, out of the billions (or maybe more) that have lived in our world, who are gotten to know by those who live way beyond their time. Isa na sa mga example yung ginagawan ng mga period films, like Alexander the Great, Joan of Arc, at syempre since Katoliko ako.. our Lord Jesus Christ. There are others, like maybe authors like JK Rowling or Dan Brown, who are only known to readers, or those around their time period, or those interested in their particular genre. Imagine what it must be like to die without ever having an impact on the world... Yung alam mong, never ka nagkaron ng sense. Na alam mong, after 100 years, wala nang makakaalalang dumaan ka pala sa mundong ito...

The only thing that makes it all better is the fact that maybe, after you die, there will be people who will remember you. There will be people who will talk about what you did, laugh at your corny jokes, or even boast of the adventures you went through when you were still alive. I think the reason why 'no man is an island' is because (even though there are probably a lot of people who haven't thought about it), they want to feel that their lives weren't useless. Like maybe they DID make some sort of mark in this world.

Have you ever seen the movie 'Big Fish'? It stars Ewan McGregor. And aside from the fact that Ewan is devastatingly cute, I also loved the idea of the whole film. I'm not gonna explain what happened, you should go ahead and see it for yourself. But the thing about it is that it made me realize just how important the people around you are. First and most important of all is your family. They don't have to be blood relations. They just have to be the people you CONSIDER to be your family. No matter what happens, no matter where the road takes you, in the end they will be the ones who watched you grow up, saw how you developed into the person that you are. And when you've grown up, or maybe even along the way, you meet friends who will also be able to tell THEIR side of YOUR story. They will see you in a different light, and maybe they can remember different jokes, different adventures, all in all, a different you. Some people meet the love of their life, some people don't. But one way or another, there will be someone who knows you better than most. Someone who can almost guess your every thought and every move, see through to your heart, and best of all, love you enough not to take advantage of all this information. When you think about it, after all the clothes you bought, after all the workout you did, and after all the intellectualizing you've accomplished, the only people who will really remember are those who already pre-approved you through your existence alone.

So enough said. I just wanna say that I thank my entire family, my loyal friends, and the love of my life for loving me just for existing. Most of all I want to thank God for creating me even though he knows how stupid, foolish, and sinful I can be.

"The unexamined life is not worth living."

This is what I look like as a bum... Pretty much the same...

You know, I should write about more important stuff... Or at least things that make sense don't you think? I don't know... I just came from Europe like a few weeks ago. But I just can't seem to get it in me to post anything about the trip yet... Maybe it's coz I'm too stressed about finding a job to reminisce about vacationing again. Anyways.. Nuff said... I wish I could've taken a picture of us sleeping on the bunk beds on the train to Lourdes, though. Yeesh it was a NIGHTMARE. Can you imagine 3 level beds with like, only 2 feet between them? Claustrophobia overkill...

Today was installing day for me.. I installed the wrong version of Java the other day so I had to erase that and install the right one... Exciting? Not reeeeaaaaaalllyy....

For All The Girls Who've Cried Before

I’ve been cheated by you since I don’t know when

So I made up my mind, it must come to an end

Look at me now, will I ever learn?

I don’t know how but I suddenly lose control

There’s a fire within my soul

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

Mamma mia, does it show again?

My my, just how much I’ve missed you

Yes, I’ve been brokenhearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Mamma mia, now I really know,

My my, I could never let you go.

I’ve been angry and sad about the things that you do

I can’t count all the times that I’ve told you we’re through

And when you go, when you slam the door

I think you know that you won’t be away too long

You know that I’m not that strong.

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

Mamma mia, does it show again?

My my, just how much I’ve missed you

Yes, I’ve been brokenhearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Mamma mia, even if I say

Bye bye, leave me now or never

Mamma mia, it’s a game we play

Bye bye doesn’t mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

Mamma mia, does it show again?

My my, just how much I’ve missed you

Yes, I’ve been brokenhearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why, why did I ever let you go

Mamma mia, now I really know

My my, I could never let you go

Eyebag Effects

You know... when you realize your life is amounting to nothing... the right thing to do is not to sleep and chat with your friend the entire night til daybreak... So you're not only useless you're ugly too... Like me.. hahahha... At least maybe I've lost some calories, huh?

I miss Boom Boom (my dog)... I used to just hug him or carry him around whenever I'm feeling sad.. (it's not an easy feat he's 24 lbs you know). I wonder how long it takes to get used to this place? I feel like I'm lost... Like I'm living in a dream world and then one day I'll wake up in my own bed again, late for another 7 am class that I would never be able to attend anyway. I never realized how fast life could pass you by until I graduated from college. 100 years? Is it really enough to get the most out of life? Most don't even get to 70. *sigh* What am I thinking? I'd better get back to work...

Yeesh...

My blog is so boring that it doesn't even have a theme... Heheh.. I have SOME knowledge of html but I just can't find it in me to spruce this thing up.. You know what? I keep wondering why I even tried blogging when I can just get some free space and make a real site? Maybe because it's the hip thing to do. Today was furniture shopping day with my sister and brother-in-law. I was actually just hanging around with them and looking around is fun too. Bakit ganon? Kung kelan antagal kong online walang tao? Abnormal kasi ako, naghahanap ng tao habang lunch sa Pilipinas. Weirdo di ba? Miss ko na friends ko! Hayh...

I can't seem to find anything to say. Naubos na sakaka gawa ng testimonial sa friendster hehehe... dumdumdum... (oo na bored ako wag nako hiritan mga friends)

BUM

Sorry guys! I haven't been able to post anything for awhile. We've been going out, and in the afternoons I sometimes watch 'Fushigi Yugi'.. heheheh... thanks to my sister Ate Ameeh I'm currently addicted. I now have a lot of understanding for the people I know back in the Philippines who used to have BIG crushes on this 'character from a book' (to those who don't know what I mean forget it haha!). So, what have I been doing? We went to Washington D.C. last weekend. We found out only when we got there that people need a permit from your congressman 6 months prior to your visit so you can have a tour of the White House. They say this was after the 9/11 thing. Jeez... Don't terrorists just ruin it for everybody? So we just went around, saw the usual stuff like Lincoln Memorial and the Smithsonian air and space museum, and ate good crabcakes (forgot the name of the restaurant sorry). This entire week I've been searching and applying for jobs online. Still no luck but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Also doing some errands, watching that stuff. We ate at a nice Thai restaurant with my sisters and Joe (Ate Ameeh's husband) and Tita Ni, and we also had dinner with Joe's family. So as you can see I'm still officially a BUM. *sigh*

Today I'm not gonna say much... I've decided to really start preparing for my interviews... so! I have to wake up early if I want to go blogging... so til next time guys!

Ash

There are some people who are of a really Machiavellian nature. If you don't know this guy, he's that philosopher who put into pen and paper an entire book that can be summarized in one sentence: 'The end justifies the means'. In other words, scheming and being two-faced is not only proper, but necessary in twisting the fate of other people if you think it's for their own good, or the good of mankind as you see it. He wrote that the people who do these things are the true leaders, those with the strength and conviction to affect the lives of everyone. What an asshole. I think he really wrote this book with present day politicians in mind.

But ACTUALLY, when you think about it, (or experience it, as I'm pretty sure some people already have), you don't have to watch TV and see the world's leaders address entire nations to find these people. They're all around you. Those who think that they're a lot smarter than other people, and that's the reason why it's only right that their plans are put into action 'No matter what the cost or what other people might be feeling'. SO. The question is. Are they right? Should we accept the fact that these ARE the people who are strong, and let them do their job in the world, or maybe clash with each other (whether in formal national TV debates or aggressive personal phone calls and emails)? I once read a book called 'Master of the Game', written by Sidney Sheldon, which features one of these people. It's only fiction, but you get to understand a little of why these people are like that. Strength is the only thing that made them survive life's ordeals. So maybe we should give them a break, huh?

But it's still pretty annoying. Which is the reason I'm venting it out here. HAHA! Catch ya later guys!

A Change of Plans

Today I did none of the things I planned for myself. Like practice my typing (which I just learned through years of facing the computer and not by any formal lessons), or brush up on my programming languages to prepare for my job interviews and exams. At least though, I did some house errands. Other than that, nothing much. The reasons? Well first of all I enjoyed chatting with my baby Jace and my close friend Steph on YM, and then, since we have cable internet over here, I've downloaded several episodes of Smallville within two days, and I watched the episodes for like the whole day with only brief intervals between. Of course, some of the time I was ironing clothes (which I am REALLY OT good at!).

I've been making a lot of plans regarding my life lately. And as of today I haven't accomplished much of anything towards my goals. *sigh* I just hope things get better soon.

I hope all my friends are having fun in Manila. At least they're still together. To all of my closest friends out there... HELLER!