Hunger

No additions today to my piece of fiction. It's not as if it's any good anyway. Still, it's a nice way to unwind.

The title of this post is hunger but the truth is that my stomach is quite full of very unhealthy snacks. I'm a breath away from eating a huge amount of dinner again and just letting myself go. But. I will NOT.

Lately I've had a taste for malted coffee (which adds a whopping 120 calories to my coffee, cancelling out all the Splenda calories saved). There's just something about winter that warrants an unending amount of comfort food and drink. Hot cocoa, anyone?

My sister is halfway through her pregnancy. Halfway! Can you believe that? Well yeah coz I think she got pregnant right about the time I came here. I'm the good luck bunny. Very soon I will be helping out with all the baby stuff. Do I have what it takes? We will soon find out.

Our living room is already looking very Christmas-ey. I put up the tree and hung the ornaments and everything. Alas, the fake tree box notes that it could 'Cause birth defects', and that is why I was the only one who could do the tree. I enjoyed it too! I remember bugging my dad and aunt to buy a decent tree for years on end. I got my wish for like, one year, and it was a live one. So next year it was back to the crummy old tree. We have a bay window with a nice 'parol' peeking out, and candy cane lights. It's all very nice when it's nighttime and we're hangin out on the sofas.

*yawn*

Regret pt. 1

"You broke my heart!"

I sat there in our family library, listening to the beating of my heart in the silence that followed. Does a 13-year old girl have the license to break somebody's heart? At the time, I didn't think of these things. I thought people in their twenties were so freakin old, and those that were older seemed ancient. Younger people seemed so inexperienced, as compared to moi, who had had dozens of crushes, and fallen in love TWICE. Big 2! The first time was with my best friend (who I'm not going to talk about right now), and the other with, well THIS guy, who had just accused me of breaking his own 14-year old heart.

I didn’t know what to say. So the uncomfortable silence stretched on. This was the only room in my house where I could have some peace and quiet, just me, the phone, and the boy at the other line who I was trying to win back. I played with the phone cord, hoping that maybe it could help me figure out what I SHOULD say. I heard a faint sigh from the other line. “I’m sorry. I met someone else.” My mind screamed at me for my own stupidity, and my heart beat loudly with the pain of a thousand regrets. “Are you still there? Do you have anything else to say?” I asked myself the same question. Oh well, time to speak up with whatever futile attempt I could come up with to save face. “Do I even know her?” Great. What the heck was that? “Look, it’s none of your business, ok? I know it’s Christmas and you’re probably lonely and all that but I’ve moved on. You should too. Bye.” I heard a click and then the busy tone.

No. I didn’t cry. I just sat there and stared at the phone for God knows how long, remembering how I even came to break his heart, and mine in the process.

“You look like someone I know.” This was the only opening I could think of. We had met only once, and we had barely even talked, but I was so interested in him I couldn’t stop myself. He turned around and grinned sheepishly at me. *sigh* I loved that grin. It made all the acrobats in my stomach start performing in an instant. “Uh, your name is Allie, right?” Oh God, I thought. He doesn’t even remember my name! “Actually, it’s Alex.” It was my turn to grin sheepishly. “Oh, sorry that’s right it’s Alex. You’re one of Jill’s friends, right?” I turned around so he wouldn’t see my face turn dark just for a moment. I knew he liked Jill, who in fact, wasn’t really my friend. She was more of a friend of a friend. Reynard (my cute sheepish guy), was at this party where he met Jill and me. I turned back to him with a smirk. “Yeah. So, I heard you’re interested in her.” Haha! Talk about blunt. A couple of emotions flashed across his face. At first it he seemed indignant, then confused, then finally, as usual, sheepish. “Well I can’t deny it I guess. Um, so who did you say I looked like?”, he asked. He nodded immediately after I answered, and told me Jill had said the same thing. After that he quickly launched into a narrative as to why he thought he had fallen in love with Jill. This was the beginning of our friendship. Not exactly the best way to go about it, but hey. Beggars can’t be choosers.

I watched the other guys and girls splashing around in the pool. Thank God I didn’t bring a swimsuit, I thought to myself. You see, I was kind of pudgy, and I wasn’t about to let HIM notice it all the more. And as it turned out, I was luckier than I thought. Because, he was also the only one of the guys who didn’t want to have a swim. We sat on one of the tables at the clubhouse, with our sneakers resting on the benches, eating potato chips and drinking soda. I guess we thought we were too cool to sit where it’s proper to. We were sharing one bag of potato chips, so he handed it back to me and grinned, “You know, I was actually hoping I could get to see you in a swimsuit”. I rolled my eyes at him. At this point, we had hung out so much and had had too many long talks on the phone for me to be uncomfortable with any of his lewd remarks. “Ahaha in your dreams Reyn.” He laughed and turned back to watching the other guys. “Hey I’m just gonna get another can of soda from the store ok?” He nodded absentmindedly as I left. When I returned he was busy feeding what was leftover of our chips to a stray cat. I smiled wistfully as I watched him. After a few seconds I snapped back to reality and returned to where I sat before. “Oooh it’s so cute! So, you like cats huh? I didn’t know that.” “Yeah I love cats.” He then looked at me and I just.. I forgot where I was and what I was doing. In that moment I felt like he was telling me, “Let’s move in together and raise this cat.” With just his eyes. The moment was too intense that I had to look away and just stare at my sneakers. “How’s the thing with Jill going?” Crap. Another winning change of subject. He seemed to know the question was coming. “That’s not going so well actually.” Hmm why was he still staring at me? I needed to get back to staring at my sneakers. “It’s just that we don’t seem to have that much in common”, he continued. “Oh that’s too bad, I’m sorry.” He then gave me a smile that I still remember to this day. “Don’t be. Coz I’m not.” There seemed to be something that came after that. But it was never spoken out loud.

-*-*- TBC -*-*-

Holidays

My 2 favorite Christmas songs!!

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,

Jack Frost nipping on your nose,

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,

And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,

Help to make the season bright.

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,

Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way;

He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.

And every mother's child is going to spy,

To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,

To kids from one to ninety-two,

Although its been said many times, many ways,

A very Merry Christmas to you

-*-*-*-*-*-

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true ...
All I want for Christmas
Is you ...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you ...
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You ...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one
I really need - won't you please
Bring my baby to me ...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas
Is you ...
All I want for Christmas
Is you baby
Is you baby

Turkey. Cold. Shopping.Ipod Video.

Yay! It's almost thanksgiving! I'm excited to have my first thanksgiving dinner... Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce... YUMM... Of course, it means I'm gonna have to workout this entire week. Hopefully I can get rid of this laziness I've been feeling for the past couple of weeks.

It's getting cold.. brrrrrrrr... Which caused me to spend almost half of my last paycheck buying winter clothes.. *sigh* Kailan ba kita makakasama, Ipod Video?

I'm tired.

Minsan

Minsan sa may Kalayaan tayo'y nagkatagpuan

May mga sariling gimik

At kanya kanyang hangad sa buhay

Sa ilalim ng iisang bubong

Mga sikretong ibinubulong

Kahit na anong mangyari

Kahit nasaan pa man patungo

Ngunit ngayon

Kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon

Sana'y wag kalimutan

Ang ating mga pinagsamahan

At kung sakaling gipitin ay

Laging iisipin na

Minsan tayo ay naging tunay na MAGKAIBIGAN.

*Sobrang inggit ko sa mga naka-dorm nung college. Kahit pa, malamang, mas mahirap maligo, o kaya naman walang lugar sa lahat ng damit mo... O kaya baliw yung kasama mo sa kuwarto.. Minsan iniisip ko sana malayo ang bahay ko sa skul. Pero ok lang, marami parin akong naging kaibigan. Best, UWI NAKO! Hehehhe.. joke lang unfortunately...

Collide

Sung by: Howie Day

Dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You're barely waking

And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open you're closed

Where I follow, you'll go

I worry I won't see your face

Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills my mind

I somehow find you and I collide

I'm quiet you know

You make a first impression

I found I'm scared to know

I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the stars refuse to shine

Out of the back you fall in time

I somehow find you and I collide

Don't stop here

I lost my place

I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills your mind

You finally find you and I collide

The Office

This is what my office looks like. Check it out! An ironing board, with (from right to left) an iron, a remote control for the CD player, a blank CD, my laptop, my hard drive in an enclosure, the TIVO remote, a cup of coffee, and some tissue (also known as trash). Note that my computer chair is actually the sofa with a pillow and a sweater that i actually have to toss in the laundry for this week's batch. Hahaha!

For all of you who don't know, I'm a consultant. Right now I haven't been put on a project yet, which means I'm on bench, which means I can work from home. My sister and Joe are on a semi-vacation in Florida, so aside from my office looking like this, it means I also have hamburger helper for lunch, and cookies for breakfast. Kind of a weird way to live, huh?

Pride and Prejudice

To all chick flick fans out there.. watch 'Pride and Prejudice'!

I assure you, you won't be disappointed.

The British accent can be quite confusing, but considering I had a hard time deciphering what the hell they were saying, I still found that I had tears of joy rolling down my face after the last scene..

:)

ALL APOLOGIES

I'm sorry.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Gilmore Girls

Where you lead, I will follow

Anywhere that you tell me to

If you need, you need me to be with you

I will follow where you lead

If you’re out on the road

Feeling lonely, and so cold

All you have to do is call my name

And I’ll be there on the next train

Where you lead, I will follow

Anywhere that you tell me to

If you need, you need me to be with you

I will follow where you lead

I've been so addicted to Gilmore Girls reruns recently.. and they're on everyday.. so I have this song in my head...

MOVIE!

Movie! Movie! Movie!!


Huhuhuhuhuhu....

Thank you for being a friend, travel down the road and back again...
Your heart is true, you're a friend and a confidant.

I am currently watching 'Sixteen Candles'. I think this is the 3rd time I've watched it, and I've only now realized that both John and Joan Cusack are extras in the movie.

*sigh*

Belle

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere...

I want it more than I can tell.

And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand,

I want so much more than they've got grand."

-- Belle, 'Beauty and the Beast'