Falling In and Out of Love with New York

This entry was influenced by my friend Katie's recent blog entry about New York being an abusive boyfriend and by the fact that I'm spending this weekend in Connecticut at my in-laws, where I can breathe without being worried that someone has terrible B.O. at 9 am in the morning.

I've lived in New York City for about 6 years now. They say time goes by fast when you're having fun, but that certainly hasn't always been the case for me here in the US. My first couple of years here were the most painful. I had no friends, except for my sisters whom I actually consider my friends, I entered into (and thankfully got out of) a very tumultuous and toxic relationship, and I was just plain LONELY. I spent a lot of time chatting with my Filipino friends 'til the wee small hours of the morning, desperate for all the companionship I used to have.

Back when I was still in Manila, there was always a lot of excitement involved when people found out I had plans to move to the US and work here. I heard plenty of comments about how I'd probably be making a lot of money soon, and many made it obvious how envious they were. There was some talk about what I'm going to miss about the Philippines, but neither those, nor my sister who always sounded like she was about to cry whenever she called home at Christmas time, could prepare me for how empty life could be here if you don't make an effort to make it exciting. That's what I think it really takes to love New York, a LOT of effort. Either that or don't live here and just visit every once in awhile and fall in love with it through watching movies and TV shows.

That's me holding a Jack & Coke haha.

After gaining some friends and getting my own apartment I started caring about the city more. I ditched my crazy idea of moving to Hawaii and living as a surfer chick (I didn't think it out enough to figure out what I was supposed to do to feed myself) and planted some roots in NYC. I partied pretty hard during this time, and it wasn't at all strange to find me getting home at 4 am on a weekday. My goal back then was just to have fun, so I let my friends drag me all over the city without even trying to figure out where the heck I was. If you ask me now what neighborhoods I visited then, I wouldn't be able to answer you. This was my honeymoon stage with the city, which lasted... about a year? Haha. Then the subway took over 2-3 hours of my everyday life and made me want to start strangling people.

For most of my past few years here I've looked forward to every chance I got to leave the city and all its insanity. Every out of town trip was like a breath of fresh air to a person who's been working in a coal mine all day. I retreated more and more into my shell (also known as my apartment), and went out less and less. Why go out and deal with crazies? The only crazy people in my apartment were me and my fiance/husband, and I was pretty fond of those two. Don't get me wrong, I still went out a decent amount, I just don't think I was going out enough for a person in her mid-twenties. This time around, it wasn't at all strange to find me in bed by 10 pm on a weekend.

I can't pinpoint any one thing that influenced me to start my Not Bored in NY blog. It could've been the quote I've read many times at the path train station near what used to be the World Trade Center and what is now the September '11 Memorial: "If you’re bored in New York, it’s your own fault. Something’s always happening". It could've been that I wanted a break from weeks of being a couch potato. It could also be that I was just really bored, and wanted NOT to be. :) Whatever it was, I'm thankful for it, because it reminded me of why I love this city. In most neighborhoods, you can LITERALLY find something interesting at every corner, so why stay home and miss out? Like I said, it takes effort, but in the end it's definitely worth it. I could write on and on about why it is, but that would make this entry into a book. That's what my other blog is for ;).

I've never been happier to be living in NYC, or more in love with everything it has to offer. Sure, I still sometimes rage inwardly at all the annoyances, but for the most part, I really do heart this city.