Final Promise

I'm too busy studying for my written exam to get a learner's permit for driving to be able to say anything that makes any sense. SO, I've decided to provide everyone with an English translation of the lyrics to the most touching song from my favorite anime 'Marmalade Boy'. I wanted to post it before, but for some reason it seemed too.. something. Now I can post it! So check it out with a very cute pic of my favorite couple with the NY skyline in the background..

Final Promise (Saigo no yakusoku)


As it started to rain,
You seemed in a hurry to say goodbye.
Let's talk about something...anything.
I want to be with you a little longer.

If I let go of your hand,
I will never hold it again.
I've bravely closed my eyes against
Emotions that are overwhelming me.

I won't cry until it's over.
Even though that face and voice
Are tearing my heart apart
Why did this happen?
I don't want to believe it...
With all these memories
I love you too much.

I can't even speak,
Though my heart cries out.
If I keep holding you back like this,
You'll be soaked by the rain.

In a quiet, protective way,
You gently wrap your hands around mine.
Some day,
My memories of this will fade away.

Without looking back,
You say, "We'll meet again someday,"
The final promise I was waiting for.
I know we can never share
The same dreams again, but...
I wish I could stop time like this.

I don't cry until it's over.
Once you can't see me,
My courage melts away.
I don't want to believe...
I still can't...
With all these memories.
I love you too much.

Starstruck!

First of all, I just realized how very public a blogger's life can get. Hehe. Mejo obvious na realization toh. Pero for some reason.. ngayon ko lang naiisip. People who have no idea who you are can actually find out what you're thinking today, you're likes and dislikes, your stupidity and your brilliance (we all have our very own lists of each, whether or not they're actually listed). Pero, pwede ring, what you are writing is entirely just to get people's attention. Hindi papansin, pero just to be creative. Tipong akala nila magpapakamatay ka na, pero trip mo lang pala mag-emote (hihihi PARINIG ba to sa someone!? hahahaha disclaimer! disclaimer! disclaimer! hehehe :P). I won't say if I'm entirely honest in my blog, hahaha it's up to other people to find out. But for those who really know me, they know the answer :P.

So why is this entry's title 'Starstruck'? Ok so I have a story. It's true, you don't have to wonder :P. Yesterday I was over at my sister's apartment near Astoria and we (me, my sister Aleth and her roommate Graz) decided to attend the 7(?) pm pass at St. Patrick's Cathedral in the city. It was a pretty uneventful mass (except for me and my sister wondering if the two somewhat attractive guys in front of us were gay/an item). Anyway, it was a short walk to the subway station and as we crossed Park Avenue, Graz (my sister's roommate) suddenly said "Uy tingnan niyo yun kamukha ni Uma Thurman." And then my sister went "O nga noh. Teka sha nga ata yun eh!" And of course me, Miss Oblivious to Everything suddenly exclaimed "Saan saan saan?!" And there she was sitting in the passenger's seat of a Mercedes. I was so amazed to see a star that I actually stared at her right as we were passing in front of the car. Anyway, she knows a lot of people know her so it didn't matter. It's not like I was about to poke my head in the car and say "Hi can I get your autograph?" Heheheh. Hmm.. my opinion? She looked EXACTLY like she does in the movies. :)

7even

I got this stuff from Ate Ameeh's blog.. I'm posting my own :P

Seven things that scare me...
~ The dark
~ Ghosts
~ Aliens
~ Dying
~ Insects
~ Embarrassing myself
~ Serial killers

Seven things I like the most...
~ Playing PC Games (esp. simulation)
~ Traveling
~ Coffee
~ Eating (desserts!)
~ Watching TV
~ Beaches
~ Romantic Comedy Flicks

Seven random facts about me...
~ Bipolar in many ways (luckily not to the point of psychological illness)
~ I can eat chicken and pizza EVERYDAY and not get tired of them
~ My favorite artists are Usher and Janet Jackson, both excellent song/dance performers
~ I used to dance, and sometimes dream of a career in dancing (never gonna happen heheh)
~ Painfully shy with new people but painfully loud with old friends
~ My favorite movie of all time is My Best Friend's Wedding
~ I like KTV

Seven important things in my bedroom...
~ Laptop & other accessories
~ Night light
~ Alarm clock
~ Speakers for laptop/ mp3 player
~ Cell phone (for second alarm)
~ Full length mirror
~ Clothes

Seven things I plan to do before I die...
~ Go on a Philippine tour and visit Egypt, South Africa, London, Germany and Japan
~ Go sky diving
~ Learn to skii and surf
~ Buy a monster PC with all the trimmings I could ever want and then some (for its time of course)
~ Shop 'til I drop and still have some money left to spend (without incurring a huge amount of debt)
~ Live in an apartment
~ Become an Oracle Certified Professional

Seven things I can do...
~ Average cooking
~ Dance
~ Sing shamelessly at KTVs
~ Read a 1000 page novel from front to cover in 2 days or less
~ Ride a bike
~ Swim
~ Do a headstand and a planche (the only breakdancing techniques I ever learned)

Seven things I can't do...
~ Play pool
~ Play a musical instrument
~ Sports
~ Be liked by other people's parents
~ Read even half of all the sections in a newspaper
~ Have interest in the stock market (zzzzzzzzzzzz)
~ Iron clothes well

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex...
~ Can dance
~ Funny/Fun
~ Well-liked by my friends
~ A gentleman
~ Smart
~ Has a sense of fashion
~ Isn't arrogant

Seven things I say the most...
~ Chi (short for Chika)
~ Olats
~ Heller
~ Horror
~ Nyerks
~ Ano ka ba?!
~ Oh My Gosh!

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign)...
~ Brad Pitt (pre-Angelina)
~ Hugh Jackman
~ Tom Welling
~ Benjamin McKenzie
~ Michael Rosenbaum
~ Christian Bale (he's sooooo yummy as Bruce Wayne :P~~~)
~ Eva Longoria (hehehhehhehehhehehe)

Sarcasm

Hehehe meanness is funny sometimes..

Quotes from 'House'

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.

Dr. Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.

Dr. Gregory House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.

Dr. Gregory House: I don't *need* to watch The O.C., but it makes me happy. (this wasn't funny i just thought it's weird that House watches The O.C.)

Intern: [trying to tell an uninterested House a patient's history] You're reading a comic book.
Dr. Gregory House: You're drawing attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top.
Intern: [covers her chest with her clipboard]
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, sorry, I thought we were having a "state-the-obvious" contest.

Orange patient: What is that? What are you taking?
Dr. Gregory House: Painkillers.
Orange patient: Oh, for your... for your leg.
Dr. Gregory House: No, 'cause they're yummy! Want one?

Dr. Gregory House: Ah! The husband described her as being unusually irritating recently.
Dr. Cameron: And?
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't realize it was possible for a woman to be 'unusually' irritable.

Dr. Cameron: [discussing a patient's diagnosis] What about sex?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, it might get complicated. We work together. I am older, certainly, but maybe you like that.
Dr. Cameron: I meant maybe he has neurosyphilis.
Dr. Gregory House: Heh, nice cover.

No Longer a Bum

Well, at least starting next month. :)

I got an official job offer phone call today.. whoopee!! Although all the paperwork won't come til Friday.

What a way to make up for burning the chicken leg I was cooking a while ago.

A Few Months Before Yesterday

I stare irritatedly at the computer screen as I lose the battle for the nth time and load the last salvageable scene from the save states. Yeah that's right, I'm playing on an emulator, a gameboy advance emulator to be exact... a game called 'Fire Emblem'. Sometimes I wonder why I keep on playing these games if I get irritated anyway. I punch vigorously at my WingMan, a gamepad plugged onto a usb port. My aunt passes by and asks me where BoomBoom is (he's our cute pug dog). I tell her absentmindedly that he's with me, lying beside my feet. He starts breathing more heavily and lifts his head as if he somehow knows we're talking about him. I pause the game and I start to rub the puggy folds on his forehead. He looks so cute that I grab him, hug him and rock him back and forth like a little baby. He seems to enjoy it. I place him back on the floor and he immediately lies down again. Soon his eyes are closed.

It is now 9:30 in the morning, but I've been awake since 5 am, even though I slept around 2 am. This is how I am when I get addicted to something, more specifically, some kind of game. I turn back to my game and take on a different tactic than the last n times. My aunt has just been outside doing whatever and passes in front of me again, asking if I ate already. I tell her I'm not hungry because I finished the half-eaten Pringles I found lying around the computer (probably my brother's but I'm sure he won't mind heehee). I take a sip from my mug of iced Coke. During these addictive moments I also tend to forget how to eat healthy. My brother bustles around the house wearing a nurse's uniform, grabbing his other paraphernalia and as usual, looking for his wallet. He takes one look at me and my bloodshot eyes and widens his already large eyes "Grabe ka na! Anong oras ka natulog?" I yawn and shrug, I know the answer but I think it's sort of a rhetorical question so I just say "Haahaa." He asks again, "Natapos ba yung MP niyo?". Still staring at the screen and playing I answer "Oo kahapon napass na." Right after finishing a bunch of projects, I usually tend to do this. I over-compensate by indulging in my addictions. After he leaves with my aunt the house is pretty silent. My dad comes and goes, flipping on the TV to check for anything good, but he also leaves after awhile. It's Saturday but it seems everyone has plans in mind except me. Or at least, just for a couple of hours more until I'm done with the game.

After a few more war scenes I notice that it's already 11:30 am and that I'm getting a sort-of game-playing marathon headache. I reluctantly turn off the computer and lie down in my half-orange, half beige room for around 30 minutes. Nani (our helper) comes around and asks me what I want for lunch. I say I'm going out. She says okay and sits on the sofa in the inner living room, playing with BoomBoom while watching TV. After awhile I call Jace, my boyfriend. I hold the phone mouthpiece with my thumb and index finger because if I don't it makes an irritating sound. "Hello pwede po kay Jace?", "Sino?" I roll my eyes at myself "Ay, pwede po kay Jay-ar?" "Ah sandali lang." After a few moments I hear Jace's sleepy voice on the line, he muffles a yawn "Hello?" "Elo! So ano gagawin natin today?" "Dunno", he answers, obviously still a little sleepy. "Kakagising mo lang?" "Yup, kaw?" "Kanina pako gising naglaro ako ng Fire Emblem eh hehehe.." "Want watch muvi?", he asks. "Oki. What time tayo magkikita?" "Dunno, mga 2:30 sa Greenwich?" He means the Greenwich in Sta. Lucia mall. "Okay! Ligo nako." "Oki bye." I put down the phone and take a bath. After I'm ready it's a long hot walk to Tandang Sora and I contemplate actually riding a jeep this time. It's too hot. I can't. I flag down a taxi and tell the driver where I'm going. Thank goodness the airconditioning is good. I wipe off a few beads of sweat and relish the cool AC air. After awhile I realize I don't have any change so I ask the guy "May barya ho kayo sa five hundred?" He nods yes and I immediately feel better. Some drivers would bite my head off. The worst is when they call me "Iha" like some high school kid who has no idea what she's doing. I meet up with Jace and we take note of the movie time. We decide to eat at Tokyo Tokyo right before the movie because we have some time to spare and we're both famished. As we get up to leave he looks back at the table and sees that I left my wallet. He quickly grabs it without me seeing. After passing a couple of stores I dig in my bag and say "Nyek wallet ko!" He makes this weird sort of comedic Oh no! face and grabs my wallet from his pocket and gives it back to me. I grin sheepishly and put it back in my bag. Another victory for the wallet-losing queen. While we're watching the movie my back unfailingly starts to irritate me and I sit forward with my elbows on my kees and my fingers clasped in front. Jace abruptly starts to pound at my back, pretty used to my backaches by now. My cellphone starts vibrating and I check the message. It's Steph. "Pst san k?" She asks. I txt back "Nsa Stalu. Nood kme ni Jace. Eastwud ka? gs2 mo magkita?" She answers "Yup. Txt mo naman si Shelly. La nako batt." I text Mshel and she quickly answers "Pde ako pero near UP lang coz I have a meeting until 6:00 pm :S" So we all decide to meet up at Mocha Blends. Of course, insensitive girl that I am, I only tell Jace about the plans AFTER agreeing to them. Thankfully, he's pretty understanding and says it's no problem. After the movie we take a taxi to Mocha Blends. We are the first ones there so I order a mocha drink and we talk while waiting for everyone. Steph arrives and happily greets us "Elo!" She starts to tell us her stories for the week and we laugh and comment about them. It takes awhile before Shelly joins us. We bitch about her being too straight-laced about her extra curricular activities. As usual she only smiles sheepishly and launches into her own set of stories. We talk well into the night, ordering our favorite "Chicken Ala King" and eating as we do so. After that Jace and I take a taxi to my house. As we pay the driver we see BoomBoom hanging out at the bench outside our house. I call him "Boomy!" and Nani says "O sino yon BoomBoom?" At first Boomy's a little hesitant but walks over to me anyway. I pet him and we head into the house for a nightcap consisting of me bitching about my last battle in "Fire Emblem" and Jace giving me tips on how to finish the next ones.

After we say goodnight and I ask him to take care, I go to the computer and turn it on. I'm pretty beat so I decide not to play and turn it off again. As I walk to my room my aunt asks me a buncha questions that I absentmindedly answer coz I'm pretty tired. She makes a comment about dinner and some food she brought home. I say "WOW!" (my usual reaction to yummy take-home desserts) and I tell her I'll eat it tomorrow. She is watching Will and Grace so I hang around for awhile to laugh at some of the jokes. I then get in my room and lie down, falling asleep instantly. I had a nice day.

Stupid Connection

Google wasn't down I'm sorry. Our connection was just sort of busted. When I restarted the modem and router everything went back to normal.

I can finally read my 33 emails hahaha.

I am SUCH a TV addict right now.. My latest shows are Monk and House ( I love this one it's like Chandler meets super-smart doctor ). Alas, IF I get a job soon I'm gonna have to setup a very accurate TIVO schedule otherwise I'm gonna miss some of my shows, most of which start this fall which include (by order of interest):

1. The OC

- I don't know why I like this one best. It's about a boy from the wrong side of the tracks adopted by one of the richest families in Orange County. He ends up bunking in their pool house and falling in love with the girl next door. It's very teen-angst-y. I probably like it because it's reminiscent of the Filipino soap-opera underdog, which I have to admit I've always been into.

2. Desperate Housewives

- This one is somewhat "Sex and the Suburbs" for those who were fans of SATC. The difference is that this one has an overall, season-embracing plot. In Filipino, "kailangan subaybayan". There are four housewives (counting the ones that are alive) Susan (Teri Hatcher's character) still reminds me of Lois Lane in this one except that she ditched the strong 'I have to be on top' personality and left in the klutz, investigative reporter, and crazy-in-love parts. Bree lives in a SO-not-perfect world with a husband who has bouts of S&M cravings and heart attacks, and a gay son. She STILL tries to make it perfect through gourmet meals, spotless counters and a beautiful lawn. Gabby (Eva Longoria) is just SO turn-me-into-a-lesbian sexy. Lynette's life is pretty interesting with the out of control kids and her constant dream of coming back to the corporate world.

3. CSI

-I think everyone knows what CSI is about. I just have to say my two favorite character here are Grissom and Warrick (whose name I thought was Work or Worm until I saw it spelled out in season 1 I think).

4. Smallville

-I've always loved Superman/Clark Kent. No other reason needed but that! And I just have to say that when I read a comment about it from someone on the internet saying they just copied Roswell I was like 'HELLO?! Do you even have a brain?' Hahaha.

5. House

-As I said, it's Chandler meets super-smart doctor. Sarcastic, funny, and interesting.

6. Monk

-The various references in this show to 'Sherlock Holmes' are quite on the money. I've read volumes 1 and 2 of Mr. Holmes's adventures several number of times now and this show really reminds me of how Sherlock Holmes cases more than CSI ever did. Probably coz of all the weird walking around the rooms and the lengthy summaries at the end in which people get mesmerized by the wonders of observation and deduction. Three major differences of course are that #1) Monk is an obsessive compulsive while Holmes is quite a messy guy #2) Holmes's assistant is usually Dr. Watson and of course Monk has had two pretty women as assistants. #3) Holmes is very active, even doing some of the criminal-chasing HAPPILY while Monk is somewhat incapacitated by his phobias of heights germs and whatnot.

7. So You Think You Can Dance

-It's American Idol about dancing. Heehee.


8. 24 (starts in January)

-Jack Bauer and his stress induced squint. Heehee. An agent of the Counter-Terrorism-Unit tries to save the world in a day. He's done it 4 times to date.

Google-Sick

OMG! Google has been down for the entire day. I don't know if this is true but for the entire day I couldn't check my mail and couldn't load the search site.. It's pushed me to use Yahoo! for the entire day. Believe me the results weren't as good.. Google where are you?!

Whoopee

Today I made a major accomplishment.

As I reached for the plug to turn on my night lamp, I found a huge spider hanging around right near the outlet. Big day for spiders and my family, my sister smacked one hanging from her sunshade as she was driving. I however, wasn't as brave for as most people already know, I hate creepy crawlers. So I took a thick book and threw it at the spider. Thankfully, I'm a better shot than I thought.

Anime Freak

I haven't been posting lately.. I guess I've just been busy living vicariously through cartoon characters. Plus it's boring when a CERTAIN SOMEONE can't go online. Hihihi. So to anyone who might actually be checking my blog, sorry!

Memoirs of a Quitter

For several days now I've been having these really annoying, splitting headaches that last for several hours. Hours in which it is virtually impossible to get any work done, considering most of the progress I need to make require reading a 1000+ page book, coding, and debugging (which of course, need to be done facing my very reliable if somewhat moody laptop). During these times, when I try to work it feels as if my eyes are about to pop out of my head and my brain is doing backflips. I had no idea what was going on with me. I sometimes felt feverish, but it turned out I had no real fever whatsoever. So what is it?

I suddenly figured out while discussing at the dinner table today with my sister and Joe... that it's my caffeine addiction patiently reminding me through every throb of my head that I've been going without caffeine for several days. And the weird thing is that I never really realized how addicted I was. I didn't even really crave caffeine, I just felt really sick. So I guess my body and my perception are really seeing two different things. Anyways, good thing I had a diet coke to drink for dinner. ;p

Still sick..

There are just days when you feel useless, and crappy, and hopeless.

This is one of those days for me.

I hope that I feel better by the end of the week, physically, emotionally and spiritually, because... I HAVE TO.

Sick

I got sick yesterday. Suddenly felt nauseous while trying to program and then when I tried reading a book (Artemis Fowl) just to clear my head, I started feeling cold and then feverish. So today I slept most of the day.. heheh slightly reminiscent of my college days in which I mostly did nothing. Well, tomorrow it'll be back to the 'grinder' (as they call it in Tropico). I'm trying to recreate a work schedule in the house so that when it actually happens I'm a little less unprepared.

Para Sa Mas Mabilisang Download, Kumuha ng Limewire Pro

Upang magsimulang gamitin ang LimeWire, hanapin ang text field sa kaliwa, i-type ang iyong hinahanap at i-click ang "Hanapin" button. Kung ikaw naman ay naghahanap ng isang uri ng bagay tulad ng (tugtugin, bideo, etc...), maaari mong bawasan ang mga resulta ng mga paghahanap sa pag-gamit ng mga button sa taas ng text field.

Hehehhee... ankulet! Yun lang masasabi ko. Sa mga taong nagdadownload sa pamamagitan ng Limewire, subukan ninyong pumunta sa view at change language at makikita niyong may Tagalog... kulet! Parang google na tagalog.. yun nga lang, medyo mag iisip muna kayo kung ano ba ibig sabihin tulad nalang ng 'Tools' na itinranslate sa 'Mga Kasangkapan'...

(info c/o Ate Aleth)

Pangarap Ka Na Lang Ba O Magiging Katotohanan Pa?

DELL Inspiron 700m Laptop (Wide Screen Traveler)

Inspiron 700m: Intel® Pentium® M Processor 735 (1.70 GHz/400MHz FSB)12.1-in WXGA Operating System: Microsoft Windows XP Professional Limited Warranty, Services and Support: 3Yr Ltd Warr,At-Home Service,and Tech Support plus Nights and Weekends Memory: 1GB DDR SDRAM 2 Dimms Hard Drive: 80 GB Hard Drive CD ROM/DVD ROM: 8x CD/DVD burner (DVD+/-RW) with double-layer write capability Wireless Networking Card: Intel® PRO/Wireless 2915 Internal Wireless (802.11 a/b/g, 54Mbps) Primary Battery: 65 WHr 8-cell Lithium Ion Primary Battery Audio Options: PCMCIA Sound Blaster® Audigy® 2 ZS Notebook sound card External Hard Drive: 300GB USB External Hard Drive (7200rpm) Office Productivity Software: Microsoft Office Professional-Includes Outlook,Word,Excel,PowerPoint,Access Security Software: McAfee Security Center with VirusScan, Firewall, Spyware Removal, 15-months Dial-Up Internet Access: 6 Months America Online Internet Access Included Miscellaneous: Award Winning Service, Support Network Adapters: Integrated Network Card Modem: Internal 56K Modem Digital Music: Musicmatch® Jukebox Basic Digital Imaging or Digital Photography: Photo Album™ SE Basic Dell Media Experience: Dell™ Media Experience Adobe Software: Adobe® Acrobat® Reader 6.0 Financial Software: No QuickBooks package selected- Includes limited use trial Port Replicator: Notebook Expansion Dock Carrying Cases: Small Leather Carrying Case

Dell 720 Color Printer

Frustration

Sakaling...

Ika'y aking ibigti sa puno
Itabi sa pulutpukyutan
At ipalamon sa mga oso

..............

Hindi na ba ako maiinis sayo?

Boredom

So monotonous your eyes could pop
So sleepy your eyes could drop
Trying to find something fun
Looking for crushes but there are none

Listening to the radio as I drift off to sleep
Scanning through books, heap by heap
Thinking of something exciting to do
I'm so bad at it I could almost boo

Wanting to shop, having no money
Wanting a love life, having no honey
Maybe it's really like this...
With a boring, tiring life --

-- where sleeping is the only true bliss

Hahahaha! Check this out I wrote it when I was in second year high school. It's pretty shallow but I think it pretty much encompasses most of those boring moments I've felt since I was a kid.. ahahahha... The wanting to shop, having no money thing sure applies these days..

UNDER RENOVATION

Myblog's gonna be under renovation for several days so don't be surprised if it's suddenly all messy and the layout goes bonkers...

Ciao!

Where Were We 5 Years Ago?

Me and my bestie had nothing better to do than chat tonight (or we didn't WANT to do anything other than that hehe). I had the idea of bringing out my diary and typing out entries to her. One in particular caught my attention. It makes me happy knowing the great choice I made before was actually the right one. :)

"February 28, 2000

ABOUT JACE:

I'm scared of starting this because my hand hurts already but I wanna write a lot of things about this person. This should do him justice.

Everyday I think of how perfect it all is. And everyday I am scared of losing the friend I had before we decided to do this, when everything falls apart. I'm scared because I don't wanna think of long-term relationships and lifetime guarantees. I thought in this manner before and I ended up dying a little when things went wrong. I'm scared of expecting too much, or too little. Either way, I'm bound to get hurt. All I know is that I love him in a way that I've never loved anyone before. And right now, every minute of my life is happy because I know he loves me too. I'm glad to be with him because he always understood and he always cared. I love being with him because he makes things seem lighter. Obviously, he matters so much to me. I have like, a gazillion reasons to leave for the States and study in one of their universities. I am staying here on that chance that THIS MIGHT BE IT and HE JUST MIGHT BE HIM. I am of course, scared of giving him a reason to walk away and ruining it for both of us. I told myself a billion times already, THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT TO BE RUINED BY MY ABNORMAL TENDENCIES AT CHEATERY AND DECEIT. But of course, as it is with confusion, life is also full of mysteries and surprises. I don't know what's in store for us in the future. I can never know for sure until we get there. I only wish that whatever happens we'll be in good terms; whether that of a long-time relationship or the mutual understanding that we just aren't for each other. WISH ME LUCK."

Hehehe don't worry guys the abnormal tendencies at cheatery and deceit have pretty much been flushed out of my system.

I don't know who I was talking to when I asked to wish me luck, but I guess it worked! It is now 5 years into the future, and we're still in good terms.. and of course, ixnay on the mutual understanding thing. :)

So where were YOU 5 years ago?

Ache

I think of
  YOU
And I feel a 
    KNOT in the pit of my stomach
That climbs up to my heart and
  ExPLODES
Into a thousand tiny slivers of 

FIRE.
 Burning into my SOUL
 Leaving me breathless...
  Constantly seeking to be
doused in the cool, CALMING waters of

YOUR LOVE.
  Which
 Nourishes
Enlightens
 Forgives

*************           **************
*************           **************
**************************************
  **and FILLS all of the emptiness**
    ******************************
      **************************
        **********************
          ******in my*******
            **************
              **********
                HEART  

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I'm pretty pscyhed today! I FINALLY got a personal interview date for the company I wanted to get into after several phone interviews (wow they're really screening like crazy, right?). Anyway, after much researching on the company website I found out that their benefits are great. So good luck to me!

Any Man of Mine

by Shania Twain

First of all, yung real entry ko for the day nasa baba..

Related lang tong lyrics na 'to sa entry. Pero actually medyo exag na toh hahaha! Natuwa lang ako coz I heard it sa mp3s ng ate ko haven't heard the song in awhile It's kinda country :P..

This is what a woman wants...
Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time
Any man of mine'll say it fits just right
When last year's dress is just a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day
And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah I like that way

Chorus:
Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind
Any man of mine
Well any man of mine better disagree
When I say another woman's lookin' better than me
And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black
He better say, mmm, I like it like that yeah
And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it that way

(Repeat Chorus)

Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah I like it that way

(Repeat Chorus)

You gotta shimmy shake
Make the earth quake
Kick, turn, stomp, stomp, then you jump
Heel to toe, Do Si Do
'Til your feet And your backache
Keep it movin' `till you just can't take anymore
Come on everybody on the floor
A-one two, a three four
Hup two, hup
If you wanna be a man of mine, that's right
This is what a woman wants...

100 Guy Points

My brother had a really nice post which HE in turn got from some guy.. I found it too good to resist making my own version TOO.. So here's my list heehee:

1Doesn't have to love coffee but doesn't mind hanging around with ME while I'M having coffee 2Loves to cuddle 3Doesn't mind hanging out at the mall 4Likes window shopping with me 5ACTUALLY makes comments on the things I want and doesn't just grunt in reply when I ask 6Loves dancing 7Lets me watch when he dances so I can make fun of him/be proud of him 8Same thing for sports 8Can play a musical instrument 9Loves food 10Doesn't give me a hard time about pigging out 10Will work out with me after we're both been pigs 11Tells me I look great even if I look like crap 12Understands that I need his compliments 13Honest 14Generally nice to everyone around 15Nice to my friends 16Doesn't mind hanging out with my friends 17Makes an effort to be nice to my family 18Understands my family even though we're weird 19Understands me even though I'm weird 20Will help me out with anything under the sun for as long as he can 21Doesn't bitch about it and actually enjoys it 22He's the spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down 23Tolerates my insistence on his watching weird classical movies like 'Mary Poppins' and 'Gone With the Wind' 24ACTUALLY watches the movies with me 25Loves watching movies 26Understands my jumpy nature 27Doesn't attempt to persude me too much to watch horror flicks 28Accepts the fact that I avert my eyes when a scary trailer comes up 29Will reserve movies for us 30Will watch chick flicks with me 31Actually likes romance and romantic comedies too 32Loves Anime and watches cartoons 33Loves 'FRIENDS' 34Actually listens to my 'FRIENDS' flashbacks and makes comments about it 35Will discuss scenes from movies/shows with me and have fun 36Is a gentleman 37Gives up his seat on the jeep or the train for an old lady even though he's doggedly tired and sleepy 38STILL tries to pull out a seat for me even though I always pull out my own 39Doesn't grill me or pressure me about religion 40Is willing to discuss it with me when I bring it up 41Same thing for social issues 42Actually has some smart things to say when we actually discuss these things 43Understands my messiness 44Tolerates my mood swings 45Interested in gadgets and other techie stuff 46Loves music 47Likes to sing 48Likes to go KTV-ing 49Has a vivid imagination 50Understands (or pretends to understand) that I get huge crushes on celebrities 51Keeps HIS own crushes mostly to himself 52Has ambitions and dreams 53Has the drive to do what he has to to get where he wants to 54Doesn't resort to sneaky or underhanded means 55Gives ME the drive to get where I have to 56Gives me a hard time when I want to quit 57Is able to apologize when he knows he's wrong 58Always tries to be a better man 59Tries to be independent for as long as he can help it 60Helps me be independent myself 61Is still a shoulder I can lean/cry on 62Can be manly or just like a cute little boy 63Can be noisy and fun or quite and contemplative 64Loves taking moonlit walks 65Knows and understands my past and doesn't give me a hard time about it 66Is willing to meet me at the end of the day when I miss him even though he's tired 67Can laugh at his own mistakes 68Understands my need for gossip and indulges a little in it sometimes 69Has a sunny, comforting smile 70Loves to cuddle 71Loves to hug 72Does not, however, resort to frequent PDAs that turn off a lot of people 73Loves to spend time with me 74Understands when I want to spend time with my friends and understands when I want to spend time with myself 75Loves playing PC games 76Tries to help me out when I play but understands that I hate being tutored TOO much 77Makes fun of me in little ways then laughs and hugs me right after 78Understands that I often leave important things in public places 79 Checks these places for things I've left before we leave (VERY important financially heehee) 80Makes up various little ways to make my day better 81Looks out for my health and his own 82Street-smart 83Open-minded 84Non-judgemental 85Funny 86FUN 87Likes shopping for his own clothes too 88Will defend me against anything/anyone 89Will even defend my friends 90Knows I'm not perfect and neither is he 91Willing to spend an entire lifetime working on it with me and having fun too 92Takes great comfort in my presence 93Is open to people about how he feels about me 94Easily makes friends 95Will stick with me through thick and thin 96Likes planning the future with me 97Happily indulges with me in my weird cravings like cotton candy 98Likes to hold my hand 99Loves me beyond time, space, compatibility and conditionality 100Tells me so.

The difference is that I found this guy already! :) I love you baby!

The 'Half-Blood' Review

So... I finally couldn't resist starting the book... I'm sorry but it was calling out to me!

After around two weeks of emotional turmoil, physical exhaustion and guilt-ridden studying and job hunting, I finally came back to one of the two hobbies that turn me into a drug induced state wherein I totally forget my surroundings and imagine vampires, werewolves and big-haired witches all around. No my dear friends HINDI ITO BAWAL NA GAMOT but the hobby I've never gotten over since the 3rd grade. Yes. It is reading for pleasure. So now I would like to do something I've never done by non-verbal means (I don't want to count Jonathan Livingston Seagull or The Little Prince), I'm going to review a book.

I don't want to put spoilers in here because, of course the people who haven't read it wouldn't be able to read my entry. :) Well there are SOME, but believe me when I say they're not that important. So it's pretty safe to read. My sister got pretty bored and hated the ending. I don't know if it was just that I hadn't read a book in a long time, but I devoured it like a thirsty man drinking a glass of cold water. I think the book was very refreshing. I hated the fifth book by the way. I felt it was too dark, gloomy, irritating and just goes ON and ON. I think the headquarters had something to do with it. Anyway, book 6 contained a lot of surprising twists, some events I had imagined to be a possible outcome but never dreamed JKR would actually write. It's nice to see the characters all grown up, experiencing things as normal teenagers on the way to adulthood, despite the fact that ever since that fated day when YOU started reading HP and TSS (or watched the movie) they had already had to make a lot of difficult decisions that the most trained citizen of magical London would have found nerve wracking. The romantic areas were quite expected, but I found them cute and actually made me nostalgic. I remembered the days when I had no idea AT ALL how guys think with regards to love, so that a single innocent brush of the hand could make me blush to the roots of my hair if only I could blush (never mind the homework tomorrow, or in THEIR case, the immensely evil being who, as always, wants to achieve immortality). Our dear, dear Harry has grown up a lot, but is still, regrettably, impulsive as ever. I guess if he didn't act on his momentary lapses of rationality, we wouldn't even get here anyway. And what is here? The point where you couldn't buy a copy of the book on its release date from Barnes and Noble unless you had a reservation. :) Actually, Harry also made a lot of choices that made me feel like hugging him while I was reading the book. He was sweeter than his usual self and to quote JKR's exact word, quite 'fanciable'. As to who the half-blood prince was, I'd already sort of guessed at it, but it was not obvious enough to be annoying. I loved the way the supporting characters took on the roles of people from everyday life despite the fact that they were from the world of magic. Glimpses of the mothers who would take back their prodigal sons with open arms at the drop of a hat, of people who feel they don't deserve to be loved, or of those who try to get on with their lives but can't because they still feel love for someone they can't love, give the book its human side. And of course, friends who would stick by your side like glue no matter what, love you to no end, and still find the time to scold you for lack of better judgement, make those who have them so lucky, they won't need any potion to make a day better! Harry is still one of these lucky persons. And by the end of the book, you'll find out just how much his friends are willing to do for him.

So! I'm sure people would like to know what I feel about the ending. Well, I'm definitely at a loss for words. It's pretty stunning, and I'm sure quite devastating to the majority, but all in all I think it opens the door to a world of possibilities for the next book/s. As usual, there are still a lot of questions that need to be answered. My only hope is that the answers that JKR gives would be worth waiting for! Honestly, I had thought it would go downhill from book 5. Kudos to JKR for proving the Harry Potter series is still IT-THAT-MUST-BE-READ.

I give the book a 9 out of 10.

Control

Control is something you have to work hard for. Even in the simplest things, if there's something you really want, the only person who can really, truly help you is yourself. Otherwise, the feeling of control that you want in your life isn't gonna be accomplished.

So one serious example is getting a job, or leaving a sucky job with a sucky boss for one with a higher salary and better benefits, or buying a house, or (and this is my personal favorite), painting your room the perfect shade that you want! Hahaha...

If you're a fresh grad (ahem ahem) who's looking for a job, there's no greater satisfaction than getting a job on your own. Going through the entire interview process and all the screening really makes you feel like you earned your place in the ever so shifty career ladders of the world. I'm still hoping to get this satisfaction someday soon. Hahaha...

Leaving a sucky job means working overtime (for yourself, since you have a dayjob) to find a better job. It's also kind of risky, if you end up at a worse job atmosphere. Plus you have a new set of people to get along with, annoying persons to deal with, and asses to kiss. But landing yourself a better position is truly worth it. I'm proud of my ate for finally leaving her sucky job and .. you know etc. etc... Good luck on your GMAT!

Finding a house is already a lot of work. I know for a fact that my sister and her husband drove for blocks and blocks just looking for open houses and for sale signs. Imagine all the ugly houses they entered, those with dingy kitchens and cramped living areas. Of course there were the better looking houses that cost an arm and a leg plus tax. Lolz. And THEN when you find the perfect one and buy it, you have no idea what you're in for. All the work, all the planning, the decorating and such. I know it still feels good for those who've done it. The look on my sister and Joe's eyes when they've finished another project on their home is always priceless. :)

So what's this entry really about? :) Today I painted the first coat of lavender paint on the walls of my room. It looks pretty cool already! And albeit a little girly, I still feel all bubbly inside. On tv shows, it looks really fun when people paint their rooms. Little did we know that it involves a lot of sweating and scrubbing your hair, face, elbows and clothes to take out the paint. It also involves a lot of nervous musing when your paint color doesn't turn out the way it's supposed to on the first coating. But in the end everything turns out great... And tonight I'm sporting several aching muscles and worn joints, but everything works out great when I know I picked my color and those were my hands and my sister's that lovingly applied every inch of lavender in that room. :)

Birthday!

The title is corny but that's what my entry is about!

FYI: My birthday was on the 2nd of August, 1983
FYI2: Z100 our favorite hit radio station here also turned 22 last Tuesday!

So on my birthday, I wasn't expecting much. Of course I missed my friends and my baby so I didn't feel like being too happy. So I just dressed up in a shirt and pants that were 2 sizes too big (we were going to pig out for dinner of course), and then proceeded to go to DMV with my sister first thing in the morning. I wanted to get a non drivers ID card (to prove I'm 22 instead of like 12 or 14, yes being 5 ft flat has its disadvantages!), and my sister renewed her license. At first I waited for my number to flash on the digital board like my life depended on it. But then I suddenly noticed the advertisment/news board and found out several interesting stuff, like the 30% shift of IT people to other career paths over the next few years, and that Julia Roberts is starring in a broadway show next spring. Lo and behold, I missed my number. So I had to line up again and wait again! Good thing my sister was there so I wasn't so bored out of my mind. After that we had Swedish meatballs at Ikea, and looked for a desk for my room. We found one, and also found out that it was temporarily unavailable. How sad. So we just went around, bought some stuff, and I saw a lamp that would look great in my room so we bought it. Really fun plus of course the meatballs were great! After that we went to watch 'Sky High', which was fun and actually had Wonder Woman in it... it's a young teen's film but it was actually a lot of fun to watch! After that we went to the mall and didn't have much to do so we checked out the petshop, and I found these two really cute chihuahuas that looked alike. When I said 'hi!' to them they scratched their cage as if saying 'Take us with you!'. It was so cute! I also found a beagle that made my heart set on buying a beagle in the future, it was already sold and playing with a toy which I assumed the new owner bought it. After that we went to Starbucks and I actually had a real Caramel Frappuccino (not light, since I thought I would indulge on my birthday), and looked around at a scented candle store, which featured really erky smelling candles.. Then we decided to go home for a bit and head to Bed Bath and Beyond (yes believe me after fixing the house we probably would already have memorized the things that they sell there) and then fetched Ate Aleth from the office. Then we went to Target where I bought stuff for the bathroom downstairs (which is now looking REALLY great by the way). I picked the colors so it's kinda girly... Actually reminds me of flowers, which the scented candle actually smells like and is designed with.. haha! Then we ate at this restaurant called PF Chang's which is kind of a Chinese-American fusion type of restaurant. The food was great, one of the best Chinese meals I've ever had! And then we had dessert at home, consisting of Carrot Cheesecake slices from Cheesecake Factory, which were PURE EVIL (and incredibly yummy.. I peg it at 2000 calories per slice hahaha!). I got 2 packages, a box of cookies and other birthday goodies from my sister, which we then used for the usual birthday merriment activities like blowing of candles etc. etc...., and flowers from my baby! Those were totally unexpected, and such a pleasant surprise. :) All in all the day was great.. My sisters made sure that I had a nice day.. I'm sure they felt kind of sad on their first birthday celebration here, away from home. All my friends and other family members made sure to greet me too! Michelle also called, which also was a pleasant surprise because I know the calls come from her own wallet now! Another birthday surprise was that the company that I thought had lost interest in me called to apologize for the delay, and that I was going to get a second interview. I actually had the interview earlier today, and I think it went fine. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they'll call me next week... So for now just wanna say thanks to everyone who greeted me! And hi to Gino who is my birthday buddy!

Evolution

I usually wake up at 8:00 am now, thanks to my radio alarm. It's always tuned in to Z100, and today the topic of conversation was pretty fun! GENDER PROFILING. Basically what they were trying to do was to classify men by emotional age. One caller categorized men into three: Boys, Guys, and Men. I think this is pretty accurate. Ahahahha! So when does a boy become a guy and when does a guy become a man? Well, there are different reasons why a person remains a boy in a woman's point of view. One is maybe you just met him, and the boy is still untested as to whether he doesn't make stupid fart jokes in front of you (someone he's only just met). Another is maybe he hasn't exhibited features that make him a guy (which I will delve into in a little while). Lastly, it could be that he's just your friend, you're both still young, and there's no reason for him to show you he can be a guy (maybe just yet). So hopefully in a little while you realize he actually has a brain, he treats you out for coffee, lunch or maybe dinner, and you realize he's cute and maybe kind of sexy. When you get home from your dates you feel like hanging around in his car just to listen to what he has to say or when he's outside your door saying goodbye you feel like waiting for him to try and kiss you. Best of all, you ACTUALLY feel like bragging to your friends 'Hey, you know I met this guy...', without making a face. So maybe you become an item, MAYBE you spend all of your waking time (or even sleeping time ;) ) together, does that mean he's already a man? Not really. To become a man, he basically has to show he can take care of you well, take you seriously and not play around. Of course, he also has to be able to take care of himself. He should be someone who doesn't have to come running to his mama or even YOU for money if he can help it. He's responsible, knows how to prioritize the important things in his life, and doesn't feel like running from commitment.

Sometimes, men can still act like boys, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE AROUND OTHER BOYS. :) It's not a bad thing. It's kind of cute to see someone who's usually a great wall of manliness act goofy sometimes. Add some beer and a little toilet humor and you've got yourself a boy band!

Another caller, who I'm guessing has had a couple of bad experiences, categorizes them a LITTLE differently. She says first they're DOGS, and THEN they're boys, and then they're men. Hahahahha! Hats off to my friends who've had a lot of bad experiences but haven't gone as far as this lady.

Ordinary

----------Ordinary People - John Legend

Baby, It's me... Maybe I bore you
No, No it's my fault cause I can't afford you

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
----------At times we get sick of love
---------- It seems like we argue everyday

---------- I know i misbehaved
---------- And you made your mistakes
And we both got room left to grow
----------And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
----------We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
----------It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
----------We head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
----------And we feel just like walking away
But as our love advances
We take second chances
----------Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
----------Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay,
----------maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
----------Maybe you'll never find
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow

You never know baby you and I

Thanks for showing me the way baby. :)

PREFERENCES

Get to know me in a not-so-conventional way..

Fruits

• Soft, plump, sweet fruits that don't have to be peeled. e.g. fresh cherries, plums, apricots, donut peaches

Vegetables

• I like the flowery kind like broccolli or cauliflowers. I like lettuce too, and prefer Ranch or Caesar dressing over all the other types of dressing

Hanging Out

• I now love coffee shops more than bars or clubs. The latter ones are too noisy, there's usually no place to sit, and I can't talk to my friends.

Beverages

• Obviously I love coffee and hate alcohol. First of all I think alcohol only makes people stupid (this belief was ingrained in my mind after playing 'Neverwinter nights' where a swig of ale lowers your character's intelligence). I also only have half a liver, so alcohol is really a big no-no for me. As for the wholesome beverages, I used to prefer iced tea over anything else. But due to the fact that many restaurants here serve the really icky ice TEA, I've shifted to Diet Coke.

Men

• I really hate the bad boy type. Those guys that think that the 'angas' vibe is some sort of chick magnet. I've always been attracted to men who are more of the goody-two-shoes type. Note that my favorite superhero is Superman, not because he's super, but because his alter-ego is Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter.

Women

• I love seeing women who are strong but also have a softer side to them. That softer side defines their femininity, and the strong side defines their personality. Note also that this description fits Lois Lane's profile.

Books

• I like romance novels and fantasy books. Anything that sends me to another world or gives me a fictional character's personality as I turn the pages.

Mattresses

• I like soft mattresses. Bad for the back, I know.. but they make me feel like I'm sleeping on a bed of clouds or cotton candy.

Coffee

• Sweetened with Splenda, flavored with nonfat Coffeemate

Anime

• Shoujo! I am still a young girl at heart.

Food

• I can eat chicken and pizza for months without getting sick of them.

Shoes/Bags

• I'm a regular girl who loves shoes and bags, and SHOPPING.

Animals

• I love cute cuddly and furry animals. Especially dogs. My favorite dog in the whooole world is Boom Boom. He's a pug. Hi Boom Boom! I miss you! :)

Colors

• I used to pretend that I hated pink. But now I can't deny that I love pink. I also love lavender and blue.

Vacations

• I love the beach and I also love theme parks! I'm not scared of roller coasters, so I like being with people who share my interest in riding them!

Talents

• I dance to perform. But I sing to have fun! (regardless of whether or not the people around me are having fun as I'm singing. hahaha!)

Dessert

• Cream. Chocolate. Sugar. Yum.

Blah.

I'm having a blogger's block. I have no idea what to write.

All I can say is: I recommend watching Desperate Housewives!

Sa Kanya

revived by: MYMP

Namulat ako at ngayo'y nag-iisa
Pagkatapos ng ulan
Bagama't nakalipas na ang mga sandali
Ay nagmumuni kung ako'y nagwagi
Pinipilit mang sabihin na ito'y wala sa akin
Ngunit bakit hanggang ngayon, nagdurugo pa rin

Chorus:

Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw, ng damdamin
Sa kanya pa rin sasaya bulong ng puso ko
Kung buhay pa ang alaala ng ating nakaraan
Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya

At sa hatinggabi ay nag-iisa na lang
Ay minamasdan ang larawan mo
At ngayo'y bumalik nang siya'y kapiling pa
Alaala ng buong magdamag
Kung sakali man isipin na ito'y wala sa akin
Sana'y dinggin ang tinig kong nag-iisa pa rin

Repeat Chorus:

Adlib:

Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin
Sa kanya, sa kanya, sa kanya, hah-ooh

Sa kanya.

Hayh.. ang sad naman ng kantang ito. Hmmm parang may flashback ako tungkol sa some person hahahha.. Di ko na sasabihin kung sino. HINDI AKO. Hehehhe. Si Ogie Alcasid din ba ang nag compose nito? Does anyone out there know? Kung oo.. ang masasabi ko lang.. master of emotion.

Are You Afraid Of the Dark?

It always amazes me.. The fact that I'm such a wimp when it comes to... well, everything! The only fear I ever got over was my fear of dogs. When I was a kid I would refuse to walk down the streets where neighbors had a lot of dogs running around. They never really bothered me (except once when I was bitten on my thigh, I was still very young). Finally, when we got a pet dog when I was in sixth grade (her name is Negra, Neggie for short), I got over the fear. Maybe it was because I started loving dogs.

But when it comes to my other fears, well, that's a different story. Recently I thought I'd gotten over my fear of the dark. Actually, I realized that that fear coincides with all my other fears. It's been awhile since I last saw a scary movie or scene, and it's also been awhile since I last read a book, so my fear of ghosts, psychotics, serial killers, aliens, trolls, goblins and whatnot, had receded to the back of my mind. However, my sister came yesterday and watched CSI with me again. Much to my chagrin, my fear of the dark came back. It's really my fear of the unknown, because of course last night, the overpowering thought was that I would turn on the lights and suddenly find a dead body in front of me.. blood spilling all over the floor. Quite a nasty thought, isn't it?

There's one fear I never can get over though. That's my fear of insects, especially when they're huge, airborne and nasty looking! Never mind that fireflies are JUST fireflies, you just never know if insects could also turn psychotic like people. PLUS, there are so many different species that you never know which one is REALLY nasty. I once got bitten by this huge bug and the swelling didn't go away until about a month after. Talk about icky.

For those people who've conquered most of their fears (or those that they know of), I certainly salute you. I hope one day I could be like you. But for now, here I am, signing off...

Your Friendly Neighborhood Scaredy Cat

Ecstasy

The first time I did it, I realized there's not much in life that can give people such a blissful experience. The heat flows throughout your body, touching every muscle like a powerful current. After so much sweat comes such a sweet release that sometimes you're left breathless with satisfaction. Little else comes close to this when you just had a very tiring, and sometimes annoying day. All your worries will disappear. Thoughts of work, or of homework, evaporate from your mind. Your own glistening body almost whispers a 'Thank You' as you finally wipe off all remnants of your almost sinful activity. You step out of the door clad only in a robe, saying to yourself, "Damn. That was a really nice hot shower."

Heheh. SERIOUSLY, I've gotten into the habit of doing pilates nowadays, and there simply is nothing like a hot shower after. I guess I've kind of made it my 'prize' for getting off my ass and working out again. So if you need to relax, take things off your mind, and just have an ecstatic time, then I truly hope your bathroom has a water heater. :))

Solo Saxophone

"A song...
Played on a solo saxophone
A crazy sound, a lonely sound
A cry that tells us
Love goes on and on"
- Miss Saigon score

Aside from the songs on my favorite song list (as you'll noticeon my sidebar), I'm quite into solo saxophone stuff nowadays. Have you guys listened to a Kenny G CD before? (probably). John Tesh is also really good.. He did 'Against All Odds' and 'Wind Beneath My Wings'.. two somewhat old songs but they are really great. I don't have any money right now... so I haven't bought any CDs yet (yes, you can probably guess where I get my music). Anyway, the heart just soars when you listen to these things.

Life and Music

Recently I've come to realize how every emotion you've ever felt, (or will ever feel) in your life, has been felt at one point in time (or is being felt at this very moment) by someone else in the world. I'm an avid fan of music in general, and I listen to a lot of genres from heart-pounding hiphop to the powerful notes of opera, to just plain pop. Sometimes the rhythm and melody is entertaining enough, but when you're feeling a little emotionally charged, listening and understanding the lyrics of the songs you love is a good way to let the gears in your head start turning (maybe in a way, this can drown out the irrational beatings of your heart). If you think your life is complicated, and no one could even begin to understand what you're thinking, just start listening, and you'll realize that in terms of the complexities of human life, no one is ever alone in their mourning, or even in their happiness. Anything you could ever think about, like faith, loneliness, love, heartache, beauty, anger, jealousy, fear, despair, numbness... anything at ALL, people have written music about them. In this way, people create a harmony of poetry and melody that not only reminds us that life is indeed so interesting that people do not run out of things to write about, but also of music to make that takes your heart to that one place and time someone else has been to already... Allowing us to connect as human beings, whether or not we will ever meet those masters of emotion, or the other people whose lives they have touched, in our entire lifetime.

I would like to mention all of the songs I've ever loved and felt a connection to, or all those singers, writers and composers who make the days seem less lonely, but there are simply too many! So I just wanna say, keep listening people! And never forget that life is a little less dreary when you keep the music playing.

"And I’ve often wondered, how did it all start?
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like a melody can?
Well, whoever it was, I’m a fan"

-"Thank You for the Music" Performed by ABBA
Composed by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus

Shifting Sand

by Caedmon's Call

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure

(Chorus)
My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leprous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away


Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

FINALLY (*sing* It has happened to me... hehe KTV modes)

FINALLY! Jeez... I haven't been able to access my blog for a few days now.. It turns out, connection was slow and my Ate just reconnected everything (yay!). Anyway, I'm pretty full right now, we had dinner at Manny's, this restaurant somewhat near our house (and my sister's in laws), and they paid to celebrate Tito Fred's retirement. Congrats! Anyway, I totally pigged out on crispy pata and lechon kawali.. While watching kris aquino in her new game show (is it still game k n b?) on a big screen TV. Almost felt like home. :)

I'm watching the last volume of 'Marmalade Boy' with my sister. Netflix didn't have it, and she actually paid for 1 month of Blockbuster so that we could watch it. Hahaha! The topic on the last volume hits a little close to home, although to tell you the truth, the episodes are a little cornier than in the first volumes. It's like Fushigi Yugi all over again. Hahaha.. enough about anime.

SO! I still don't have a job (which I'm pretty sure is not a good idea to tell everyone, since it makes me look useless... but I guess you know that already hahaha!), and I'm still dreading my first bus ride to the city.. or maybe back from the city. Hopefully I don't mess up and end up somewhere else where I'll have to call someone to pick me up. Talk about embarrassing.

I miss you Bestie.. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?! Haha just kidding. I actually know. So have fun and hope to talk to you soon DAMMIT! Hehehe... Want to say a special HI to Ponch and Quel who are fans of my trash can.. heehee...

Kikay

Hmmm.. Kikay ba ako? Mukhang hindi di ba? But NO!

Check out the pics of my new garbage can... hehehhe... Makes u think.

It's a tile mosaic.

SLAM

If there could be one thing that I would never be able to forget about my college life, it would be the friendship I shared with three people. YES to your question bestie, THREE. Hehehe. In a lot of ways, we've each grown apart. I from them, and they from each other. I wish somehow I could go back in time and start things over when we were still freshmen, get together as early as we could have, and have the kind of fun we had on our last year of college, before most of the drifting apart began. I know we would have conquered the world (or maybe just our circle of friends hahaha), had we realized how great we were together. If only outside influences hadn't driven us to a somewhat sad end. All is not lost though! I still keep in touch with two of them, and as far as I know the three of us are still the best of friends in more ways than one. For all the laughter and silliness, and even for all the tears and sadness, I want to thank them, and dedicate this entry to SLAM:

(in order of appearance from left to right):

MICHELLE:

Michelle is the most pure-hearted, sweetest person that I have ever known in my entire life. Before, when we weren't so close, I'd already decided to myself that she deserves the best that life has to offer. I never stopped believing that even after all the time we'd spent together, talking about an amazing number of things that I never thought I'd be able to talk to her about. Sometimes she seems to live in this fantasy world, where everyone she meets is kind-hearted, generous, and not one person has even a hint of an evil streak. I guess that's why we feel so protective of her (not only me but also most of the people around her). To the point of being naive, she always starts off seeing everyone in the best light. Sometimes it's annoying (especially when I have to raise my cat-claws and kill off the damn hyenas hahaha!), but it's also very endearing. Aside from that, she's a real workaholic. Right after we graduated she got so depressed because there was nothing to do but bum around in the truest sense. Michelle! Sarap sarap magpakatamad eh! Hahahha! I guess people learn about me from here too (and not in the good sense I think...) On the more shallow side, Michelle has become one heck of a fashionista over the years. And you can easily spot her kind of style when you go to the mall to shop. Actually, a lot of times we've ended up not buying some article of clothing or accessory because it seemed too 'Shelly'.

LIA:

When I first met Lia I thought (at the risk of sounding gay) "Wow she's really pretty." And you know, she WAS and still IS. Of us four I've always thought she's the prettiest (sorry Michelle hahahaha!). When we were close, she was a great friend. Short of doing something that would anger her mom (like stay overnight or be out really late), there was nothing she wouldn't do to help me out. Of course, she was also GREAT at charming other people so that THEY in turn would help her out. It's not really manipulative, it's just that when you meet her you always have the urge to try and help her, especially when you see her worried face or maybe her pretty smile. She used to be SUCH A GEEK when we were freshmen. She was always worried about schoolwork and homework. I remember one time I was telling her and Steph something important, and she never found out because she was too busy talking about some homework we had for Social Science I. She also used to love gushing about cute guys. Of course, we almost never agreed on which of the guys really ARE cute. (Like the endless dispute about Leonardo DiCaprio being gay and Dean Cain being.. well, ugly to her I guess). She'd always been my malling partner too. Sta. Lucia mall was our second home. At one point, the two of us could rarely be seen without each other. We had a lot of good times.

STEPH:

Ahhh Steph. My current best friend who will hopefully remove the strain of bad luck that's been haunting me and the term 'best friend' for years. I'm endlessly surprised at how stubborn our friendship has been throughout the years. We've gone through a lot of rough patches (and when I say rough, you have no idea!) I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, considering we both ARE really stubborn. I usually shut everyone out when I'm really feeling depressed. SHE however, tells some people what's wrong, asks for their advice, but does whatever she wants anyway! Well, that's us. We're not exactly the most easy pair of friends to deal with. But we're also a lot of fun once you get the hang of how to deal with us. ;) Caffeine brought us together, and caffeine will be what KEEPS us together throughout the years, even if it seems most of these will be spent apart. There's another vice to be spoken of (I'm sure you know that bestie), but I loathe to speak of it in front of people. I'll leave you guys to your own imaginations. (For those who know us, you know what I mean ;) ). I miss so much the days when I would ask everyone to do KTV with me, and she would come along to order drinks, food, and then REQUEST the songs she wants other people to sing. Hahahaha! I of course, would never say no to a song (or maybe even a dance). Just don't make me do a song/dance number, BELIEVE ME I SUCK. SHE however, HATES to dance in public. I saw her do it maybe twice before.. She's not that bad (you better start trying! ;) ). She also LOVES to shop and LOVES to eat great food at great places. Sorry bestie I have to say it: She SPENDS money like CRAZY. Please lang Steph, save ka naman para mabisita mo ko dito.. hahaha! Also, as opposed to normal girls, she loves dark chocolate, and doesn't like white chocolate too much. So there! She also loves going to the movies, and seldom misses a major hollywood film. She's very smart, a math whiz in fact, and she hates the idea of being useless (don't worry bestie, nobody thinks that of you), that's why she always has drive. She's part chinese, but HATES herbal tea. She's very emotional, and easily gets annoyed at some things (or PEOPLE hahaha), but she also easily gets excited and happy to the point of child-like glee (which I also admit to). This is a part of the two of us people usually have to get used to (and you HAVE TO.. hehehe). I miss staying overnight with her and talking nonstop about everything and nothing. Hayh. There's still a lot left to tell.. Maybe I'll put it in her friendster testimonials :). For now, just want to say that I love you bestie! Ingat and happy coffeeing!

Far and Away (from home)

It's been awhile since I last posted an entry... I do miss my blog.. It's just that moving out of the house has been a pretty tiring experience.. leaving me beat most of the time. It's a lot of fun too though, visualizing what the new house would look like when we're done cleaning it up and unpacking, shopping for new stuff. Of course, it's not MY house.. I'm just gonna be living here with my sister and brother in law for the next couple of years. It might sound kinda lame, especially if you're not Filipino, but I think it's nice having people to chat with in the middle of the night, or watch anime with like 'Marmalade Boy' or even to watch CSI with so that I can get really scared.. (okay I admit I scare easily all right? so remember never to invite me to watch scary movies). Our family's always been broken, but it does have a lot of extra branches, and the parts that are intact are still good. Like Lilo said in 'Lilo and Stitch', "broken, but still good". Besides, I don't consider myself single, so I don't really need the privacy.. hahahha!

I miss going out so much and just having coffee with my friends. Sometimes when I think about it, us having coffee every day just whiling away our time sitting around, I feel like the world I'm in right now is a dream world, every day having the thought in my mind that there's just SO much to do. It's hard, but it makes me feel that I at least have some sense, that I'm not totally useless. I only wish I could feel that way, and still have them around. By the way, kung mabasa mo to Pat salamat sa kape at sa pakiramdam na makakapagkape pa pala ko with a friend... once every two years maybe? hahaha hopefully sa Pilipinas na sa susunod.. kasama lahat kayo at c baby..

Anyway, back to reality for now.. Can anyone help me with this box? :)