BUWAHAHAHAHAHHA!

NYAHA! WATCH OUT WORLD! MAY LISENSYA NAKO!!!!

hehehe. what a nice day. what a great gift to myself. :P

I was kind of depressed a while ago. But I guess you can't have it all. You gotta learn to be happy with what you have. Like in my case, a license! (to kill? hehehE)

-*-*-*-*-

Pano pinaghahandaan ang depression? How do you steel yourself from it, when you know it's coming? Hayh, minsan ang mga tao, makulit, kahit alam nilang bawal sa kanila, ginagawa parin. Tulad ng yosi, alam mong magkakasakit ka at unti unti kang nanghihina pag ginagamit mo, pero, makulit ka parin. O kaya ng chocolate. Alam mong next week lalaki tiyan mo kakakain mo, pero bat ba di mo matigilan? Hahahahaha!

All right back to work!

-*-*-*-*-
“Adik sa’yo”

awit sa akin
nilang sawa na sa aking
mga kwentong marathon

Tungkol sa’yo

at sa ligayang
iyong hatid sa aking buhay
tuloy ang bida sa isipan ko’y ikaw

Sa umaga’t sa gabi sa
bawa’t minutong lumilipas

Hinahanap-hanap kita,
hinahanap-hanap kita

Sa isip at panaginip,
bawa’t pagpihit ng tadhana
Hinahanap-hanap kita

Sabik sa’yo

kahit maghapon
na tayong magkasama’t

parang telesine
Ang ating ending Hatid sa bahay n’yo
Sabay goodnight, sabay me-kiss,
sabay bye-bye

Sa school sa flag ceremony
hanggang uwian araw-araw
Hinahanap-hanap kita,
hinahanap-hanap kita
At kahit na magka-anak kayo’t
magkatuluyan balang araw
Hahanap-hanapin ka,
hahanap-hanapin ka

Waaaaaaaaaah!

Waaaaaaaaaaaah! It's my road test tomorrow.. I'm getting so nervous just thinking about it that I had to stop studying and write about it, just to sort of get it off my chest. Well, it's not as if other people haven't failed the test, but I guess I just want to have a better way to go around San Fransisco when I get to CA. I'm also all nervous about my project, which will be starting next week. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Haha I'm such a crybaby.

Meron akong gustong sabihin.. pero hindi ko masabi. Well, maybe someday.

Adik.

Pagod na pagod nako sakaka-aral. Sasabog na ata utak ko. Ang itsura ko ngayon mukang naka-droga. Namumula at malalim ang mata, parating nawawala sa sarili at lumilipad ang utak. Nanood nalang ako kanina ng Will & Grace, at gumana naman sha. Gumaan kahit papano ang pakiramdam ko, kahit pa ilang minuto lang.

Namimiss ko ang pagsasayaw. Minsan, sinasayaw ko ang mga lumang routine, kahit na yung ibang parte nakalimutan ko na. Masaya lang. Bakit ba hindi nalang ako naging dancer? Baka sakaling di ko kailangan magpuyat nang ganito. OOPS. Kailangan din pala. Hahahaha.

Bago ko malamang may project nako, excited ako sa Pasko. Pero ngayon parang pagod na pagod nalang ako.. Sakakaisip kung magagawa ko ba to nang maayos. Syempre, kailangan maayos. So. Kung kailangang hindi makatulog nang maayos, so be it.

Namimiss ko ang Eng'g. Sana, college nalang ulit ako at Eng'g week at nagppraktis ng Indakan.

Pupunta sa Orange dance studio, kakain ng Zinger sa KFC bago sumayaw, at sasakit ang tiyan habang sumasayaw dahil naaanghangan (HAHAHA). Makikipag-agawan sa mga tao dahil kulang ang chako. Tatakbo sa tindahan para bumili ng tubig. At habang nagmamadali, nakikipagkuwentuhan narin sa kasama sa sayaw. Ay. Bibili pala ako ng Dewberry na isang pack. Tapos since mabait ako, mamimigay ako sa mga tao. :)

Kinabukasan ay Sabado. Pagod na pagod nako pero nagyayayang mag Eastwood si best (slash Steppie). Osigi. Kape hazuzual. Hmm.. gimik night Saturday night, andami nanamang pasexy sa Eastwood. Pero dahil pagod nako, naka walang sense outfit lang ako. Buti pa si Best. Parating nakaporma. Ang sabi nga niya 'Ash dapat laging handa!' Totoo Best, you never know kung kelan darating si Mr. Right, di ba? Baka hindi mo lang alam, sha na pala yung nasa kabilang table sa kapihan. O teka lang, wala kang pangsindi nang yosi. Dali, tanungin mo si Mr. Right kung may lighter sha. LOL. Hmm, ano bang palabas sa sine ngayon? Mukang maganda yon. Nood tayo. Pero 10:00 pa ang showing. Dinner muna tayo sa Fazoli's. Ay p*tah, lalamon nanaman ako? Baka di ako magkasya sa isusuot pang sayaw. Pero bahala na. Masarap kumain e. Hahaha. Tapos uwi. Tapos tulog.

Urgh... anong oras na ba? Sunday pala. At dabest, 2:00 pm na.. ngayon lang nagising. Puro pawis na ang t-shirt ko sa init ng araw. Nakalimutan ko nanaman lagyan ng kurtina ang bintana ng kwarto ko. Asan na ba si BoomBoom? Hmmm umalis ata ang mga tao ngayon sa bahay. Ano kaya maganda gawin. Diablo nalang heheh...

Ang layo na ng buhay ko ngayon.. Minsan di ko na kilala yung dating ako. HAHA. Pero teka, ilang buwan palang ang nakakalipas. Pero parang ang bilis ng buhay.

'Kay bilis kasi ng buhay, pati tayo, natangay'

Gulo gulo nanaman ang utak ko. Oops. Almost midnight na. Parang awa mo na Ash, mag aral ka na ulet. Oki. Laterz.

Random Thoughts

Malamang hindi mo ko kilala. Pero gusto ko parin humingi ng tawad sayo. Kung alam mo lang ang mga pinaggagagawa ko, siguro gusto mo nakong ipapatay, ipalamon sa oso, ipa-tira sa sindikato.

Minsan, akala mo, kilala mo na ang sarili mo. Akala mo, alam mo kung ano ang kaya mong gawin. Pero hindi pala. Mali ka pala. Magbabago bigla ang tingin mo sa buhay. Malalaman mong hatol pala sayo ng buhay ang mag isip nang mag isip buong gabi, walang laman ang tiyan, walang tulog, walang pag-asa, walang lahat kundi ikaw, utak mo, puso mo, at ang pangarap na bukas, di na kailangan magpuyat. O kahit man lang, pwede nang magpuyat nang masaya.

Kilalang-kilala mo ako. At dahil don, kailangan ko din humingi nang tawad sayo. Sa dami nang pinagdaanan natin, hindi sapat ang kahit anong sabihin ko para saluhin ang pagdurusang ibinigay ko. Pero, dahil din don, hindi ko rin alam kung anong dapat sabihin. O kung may dapat pa bang sabihin. Kaya, hanggang buntong-hininga nalang ako.

-*-*-*-*-

I have given up being a couch potato. It's a sad thing, but certain sacrifices need to be made, to make space in my life for this huge, needy, whiny baby called... MY FIRST PROJECT. I'm psyched, scared, excited and tired all at the same time.

There's nothing like walking around Central Park at nighttime, with the moon and the brights lights of the city. The horses are stinky though.

BEST. Iniwan mo nako dito. Fighting for my life. LOL.

Alanis Mode

The album 'Jagged Little Pill' was released in 1995, and won a Grammy in 1996, the year when I first came here looking all clueless and tourist-ey. It was one of the few cassette tapes we had brought from home (together with Ultraelectromagneticpop, the only other one I can remember). Back then it seemed to me that, not only were we playing Alanis at home, but everywhere we went I could hear her voice too. When I got home, whenever I heard a song from 'Jagged Little Pill', I always remembered New York.

By the way, for all those of you who are clueless out there, Alanis is engaged to *sigh* Ryan Reynolds.... Sana si Alanis nalang ako. HAHAHAHA!

-*-*-*-

HEAD OVER FEET

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

Ikaw Ang Diyos At Hari Ng Iyong Mundo

Matakot sila sayo...

-*-*-*-*-

There are times in life when you feel like you're so on top of everything there's no decision you can do to mess anything up. Life is so great that you wonder whether God and/or fate conspired to put you right there, in that moment, when your world is just PERFECT. People might go through life having many of these moments, and as they pass you by like a train on track, the only thing you can do is be thankful that train passed by as frequent as it had, or even at all. But then, there are also times when you realize, you were NEVER in control at all. The world conspired to make you feel SUPER, and then in a kryptonite-like maneuver, make you weak, bring you down to your knees, and make you lose all sense of whatever control you thought you had. And, like a train on track shaking your home-along-the-tracks (heheh), the only thing you can do is try to hold on to something until the mini-quake ends. Hopefully your house will still be standing after it passes by.

-*-*-*-*-

IRONIC

An old man turned ninety-eight

He won the lottery and died the next day

It’s a black fly in your chardonnay

It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late

Isn’t it ironic... don’t you think?

It’s like rain on your wedding day

It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid

It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take

Who would’ve thought... it figures

Mr. play it safe was afraid to fly

He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye

He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

And as the plane crashed down he thought

Well isn’t this nice...

And isn’t it ironic... don’t you think?

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right

And life has a funny way of helping you out when

You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up

In your face

A traffic jam when you’re already late

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

It’s meeting the man of my dreams

And then meeting his beautiful wife

And isn’t it ironic... don’t you think?

A little too ironic...

and yeah I really do think...

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

Helping you out

:)

Hey there my dear blog readers!

Remember that day when I was so happy but didn't wanna jinx it?

I was actually up for a project (finally) in Oakland, California, which I really REALLY wanted to do, but was still under consideration due to budget issues.

And today that project got approved!! YAAAAAAAAAY!

So I'll be going back and forth from January to February.. coming home every other weekend. The schedule sounds kind of annoying. But hey, that's a consultant's life. At least I get to go around San Fransisco during those weekends I'm there, getting a rental car which (hopefully) I'll be driving with my brand new license! Hahaha!

I'm listening to Usher's older songs right now.. I think I forgot about them coz of Confessions (specifically BURN). So here's to you Usher baby!

-*-*-*-

You Got It Bad

When you feel it in your body
You found somebody who makes you change your ways
Like hanging with your crew
Said you act like you're ready
But you don't really know
And everything in your past - you wanna let it go
I've been there, done it, fucked around
After all that - this is what I found
Nobody wants to be alone
If you're touched by the words in this song
Then baby...

U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad

When you say that you love 'em
And you really know
Everything that used to matter, don't matter no more
Like my money, all my cars(You can have it all back)
Flowers, cards and candy(I do it just cause I'm...)
Said I'm fortunate to have you girl
I want you to knowI really adore you
All my people who know what's going on
Look at your mate, help me sing my song

Tell her I'm your man, you're my girl
I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world
Ladies say I'm your girl, you're my man
Promise to love you the best I can

See I've been there, done it, fucked around
After all that - this is what I found
Everyone of y'all are just like me
It's too bad that you can't see
That you got it bad...hey

U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else

U got it bad
breakdown
U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad

The Tourist

The title, I actually got from the secret identity of a guy in a book that I read called "Honeymoon", written by James Patterson. The book sucked, and it was quite unfortunate for me to have read one of the very few books he wrote that isn't excellent. He's my sister's favorite author, and I heard his books are really great. One day I'd like to read more of them, but right now I'm just so occupied with other stuff, plus I wake up late on the weekends. :P This isn't a review. Ahahaha!

The title is actually for me. The brave little 5'0 ft girl who waded through the sea of tourists all over Times Square and 5th Avenue, on a SATURDAY. People are funny. When they're tourists they become these weird, annoying people who slow down everybody else, stop in the middle of the freakin' road to discuss coffee at the Trump Tower, and of course, are too riveted with the skyscraper scenery to notice that someone as small as I am is in front, behind or beside them. SO. As you can imagine, it wasn't a very pleasant experience. And those who really know me would know that I really, really, REALLY, despise being in crowds. Except maybe for concerts (I LOVE YOU USHER!). But the amazing thing is that it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I guess instead of being as annoyed as I possible could, I started remembering when it was my first time in New York, and when I was in Paris and Rome a few months ago. Yes, people become annoying when they're tourists, 'coz I've been one several times in my life. I sort of understand, and my only hope is that whenever all of you out there take on this sigh inducing persona, you will at least remember NOT to stop in the middle of the road to discuss lunch plans, and still have loads of fun. :) Oh, and watch out for that 4'11 girl PLEASE don't step on her.

My day was pretty fun, though, despite the crazy crowds. It consisted of a movie, window shopping, coffee and pizza. If it weren't for all the tall people and the snow, I could've sworn I was back in Manila, doing the usual stuff with one of my friends. Best, miss na kita. Punta ko Eastwood next Saturday, ha? Coffee Bean...

Para Sa Matatakutin

Huwag Kang Matakot

Eraserheads/Orange and Lemons

Huwag kang matakot'

Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako

Sa iyong tabi'

Di kita pababayaan kailan man

At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin

Ay sasaluhin kita

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot

Dahil ang buhay mo'y walang katapusan

Makapangyarihan ang pag-ibig

Na hawak mo sa iyong kamay

Ikaw ang Diyos at hari ng iyong mundo

Matakot sila sa 'yo

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot na magmukhang tanga

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot sa hindi mo pa makita

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot

Aahhhah

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha

Kasama mo naman ako

Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot

'Di kita pababayaan kailan man

Hopelessly Hopeless

Today I had a nice chat with several of my friends. One of them I haven't talked to in a long time (hi!) so it was pretty nice to just talk and catch up and be as loud as I possibly can (meaning using ALL CAPS lol).

So, some of my friends were talking to me sort of asking for love advice. Haha! What the heck do I know? The thing about me is that I've always been a hopeless romantic. Dreaming of a love that was written for the books or the movies. Is there anything like that out there? (Err, hi Michelle, pa-hi narin kay Papa Vern heheh) I highly doubt it. Which brings us to the reason why I'm probably screwed up. LOL. Still, I try to give advice, and just, well let's just say if I could make them sign waivers I would.

Hmm. I'm sleepy. Hahahaha. Can't go on.... waaaaaah....... ZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz

A Walk In the Clouds

I'm in a GREAT mood today. :)

I don't wanna mention the reason why I'm in such a great mood right now, coz I don't wanna jinx it. But suffice it to say that because of that I'm kind of on cloud 9 right now...

Plus I finished the first real task I ever did for work. I think I did a great job, considering I learned the tool in a day and just winged it as I went along, together with my work buddy, Ishita.

Hmm Shadow is hiding his treat in between a pair of boots and slippers. HAHAHA. And like 2 days from now one of us has to find it when he can't get to it.

Breathless

Go on go on
Leave me breathless
Come on

Hey... yeah...

The daylight's fading slowly
The time with you is standing still
I'm waiting for you only
The slightest touch and I feel weak
I cannot lie, from you I cannot hide
And I'm losing the will to try
Can't hide it, can't fight it

So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny
This loving feeling
Make me long for your kiss
Go on, go on
Yeah...
Come on
Yeah...

And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow
It's like a dream
Although I'm not asleep
And I never want to wake up
Don't lose it, don't leave it

So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny
This loving feeling
Make me long for your kiss
Go on, go on
Yeah...
Come on

And I can't lie
From you I cannot hide
And I've lost my will to try
Can't hide it, can't fight it

So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny
This loving feeling
Make me long for your kiss

Go on, go on, come on, leave... me breathless
Go on, go on, come on, leave... me breathless
Go on, go on, come on, leave... me breathless
Go on... go on!

My Baby

Check out my beautiful baby boy! Not very chubby, a bit on the dark side and bald. But I love him more than anything else!! His name is Freddie.




*sigh* My dream come true.

Today a weird guy sat beside me on the bus. Well I'm not exactly sure if he was weird coz I was too busy listening to Freddie and looking out the window. But I think he was asleep and then moaning in his sleep. I wasn't sure if he was creepy in a Frankenstein-y or pervert-y manner. Actually I think it's more of the Frankenstein thing coz he moved to another seat when a pair of seats became empty.

I'm actually doing something at work now. And I guess it's great coz I'm being eased into it, doing something but I don't have to fly anywhere for now. My eyes hurt from all the unexpected work I'd been doing for the day, and then I did some boring labs remotely here at home, the applet was incredibly slow though and kept me from being on YM properly. I am currently waiting for the only 2 friends I keep bugging almost everyday to finally reply.. HOY tutulugan ko na kayo. heheh..

Hmm I wanna skate at the Rockefeller Center this December, or maybe in January.. but I don't have ice skates and I'm not about to buy a pair.

Oh well.