Time Is Gold, God Is Love

A very slambook title, if I may say so myself. I've come to realize though that when you're working and traveling, time IS gold. This weekend I'm supposed to stay in California, but from a faint nudge for me to come home came the overwhelming feeling that I really DID want to go home. So, I sent out a few emails about my plans, looked for a flight as cheap as I could get this late in time and YES I can actually go home! But that also means that I will be flying almost entirely on Friday (a day in which I'm supposed to be working, meaning I WILL be working the entire time I'm on the plane and in the airport), I have stopovers both on my way back home and on my way here on Monday morning, and both flights are leaving at around 6 am (Meaning I have to leave the hotel and the house at around 4 am). Ahh, the things we do when we are going crazy.

My project is taking up more and more of my time. Well, just because I really want things to get better for those who are gonna be using what I'm restructuring. I hope all the hard work is gonna be worth it for them in the end. Ahhh, I need to work. But I am also in need of a good cup of coffee. So I'm gonna go out for my usual evening walk to wherever it is that I need to buy something (this time Starbucks), and then resume working later on.. Bye for now guys...

Kahit Pa

Hale

Muling lalapit
Ang liwanag sa paligid
At ang tinig
Na sa aking nagsasabing

Hindi mapipigil ng mundo
Papatunayan ang pangako

Dahil kailangan ka
Kailangang pakita natin tayo'y iba
At kahit pa
Hindi papipigil sa mundo
At sa umagang darating
Lahat ay aking kakayanin

Huwag mong iisipin
Ang mga harang sa atin
At ang ihip ng hangin ay darating

Bigla lang titigil ang mundo
At ang lahat ay maglalaho

Dahil kailangan ka
Kailangang pakita natin tayo'y iba
At kahit pa
Hindi papipigil sa mundo
At sa umagang darating
Lahat ay aking kakayanin

At kahit pa ikaw lang at
At kahit pa ikaw lang at...

Hindi ko man hawak ang panahon
Maging ang ikot ng buhay
Basta't ikaw at ikaw pa rin
Ikaw at ikaw pa rin

Dahil kailangan ka
Kailangang pakita natin tayo'y iba
At kahit pa
Hindi papipigil sa mundo
At sa umagang darating
Lahat ay aking kakayanin

At kahit pa ikaw lang at
At kahit pa ikaw lang at
At kahit pa ikaw lang at ako

-*-*-*-

This is just one of those days when I just have to let it all out with another set of lyrics. Hahaha! Anyway, I'm all tapped out of stuff to say right now. Maybe not, but I don't really feel like sharing. So I'm just gonna update my song list, they link to songs now so just go ahead and click (I can't do direct links sorry).

Just Like Heaven

I'm on the plane right now. I just watched 'Just Like Heaven' (Reese Witherspoon), and it must be one of the most heart-tugging movies I've ever seen (or maybe I'm just feeling emotional myself nowadays, which is why I can empathize with any hint of drama). When I first saw the trailer I just thought, 'Hmm looks like they pretty much gave away the ending already, what's the big deal it's a guy who fell in love with a freakin' ghost' ahahaha! It was a pleasant surprise though that I loved it so much I think I'd like to add it to my list of favorite romantic movies of all time. I think I like movies that show loss. I've also seen 'Return to Me' (David Duchovny and Mimi Rogers), which was also about a guy that lost the love of his life, and then found true love again in what can only be described as a fateful meeting. There's something about guys weeping their hearts out (or trying hard not to) that really gets to me. (Hmm, I don't even want to think about the supposed implications of this statement). Actually, my Humanities teacher (in her effort to read my journal project), referred to this phenomenon as the 'Florence Nightingale' in all women. I guess it means, women want to nurse wounded men (also explains the concept that 'women dig battle scars'). Anyway, real life doesn't usually involve comatose souls that wander the earth looking for their soulmates, or even kisses that bring people back to life. Now that I've come to think about it, I've never really believed in fate, or that somehow, somewhere, gears are turning that control how we will live our lives. I think I've always felt I'd rather have faith, than fate. A belief that there is a higher Being that loves everyone unconditionally, rather than there being an ultimate pattern to the universe and all the chaos in this world. Still, I enjoyed the movie though, and the idea of fate is also nice when it leads to the most beautiful moments in your life. Hmm I feel like I am rambling incoherently here, but I guess I'm just spewing out what's in my mind. (A good way to spend the last hour or so of my flight, which thankfully has NOT been delayed like before). A line in the movie sort-of got to me, I think Elizabeth (Reese) said something like 'All I remember about my life is working', and it just reminded me how important moments are in your life. we can't deny the fact that for most people (who have their own dreams and aspirations, or have the drive to get to them), work must usually come first. We can't deny it, a 9-5 pays the bills and gets you to places. I also remember a cab driver telling me 'What do you think about the fact that Europeans say Americans live to work?'. I had no answer to that, as I am not American. But I guess the point is that we must never find ourselves living to work instead of working to live. Always try to find things in life that make it more than everyday drudgery. In fact, right now I wanna list down some stuff I've seen that make it worth going out instead of working your ass off on the weekends:

1. The full moon (the one that's huge and orangey) in New York City
2. Fresh snow (aka powder) (I saw like 2 meters) on the ski slopes at Tahoe
3. The Chateaus in France
4. The lakeside areas in France
5. Embarcadero street and the piers in San Francisco
6. The view of Manila from Cloud 9 in Antipolo
7. Boracay, the sunsets and the beautiful bodies ;P
8. Quiet coffeehouses where you can drink coffee and read a good book, OR hang out and be loud with your friends, OR sit down and have a nice conversation with a special someone
9. Great clubs on Friday nights where you can surrender yourself to the music and exchange sweat with the persons dancing next to you
10. Sunlit walks in the park
11. Great food in equally wonderful places
12. Road trips where you can bond and/or get pissed off at your friends, then make up at the end.
14. Streetside cafes where you can eat pastries and go people watching, especially when you're in another country or state
15. Chateau d' Versailles and its amazing gardens
16. Mamma Mia! The funnest show I've ever been to

Stuff I wanna see:

1. Usher in concert
2. The pyramids in Egypt
3. The canals of Venice
4. Barcelona
5. A real-life Torii in Tokyo
6. Brad Pitt

Hmm pretty short list right now. I guess I'm not in such a dreamer state right now.. *sigh* I need breakfast..

Pero Minsan Nag-iiba Ang Ikot ng Mundo

I'm supposed to be packing right now. Going home, even though I'm barely ever really home nowadays. But I guess it's true what they say, 'Home is where the heart is'. I heard the reviews for Underworld 2 were not good. I'm still gonna watch anyway, just to find out. Haha, another weekend back in The City.

** I miss my Baby **

Ahahahha! By special request I've included that. I hope you're happy... LOL. I am so freakin' tired nowadays. My body clock is shot, I wake up at weird hours, I sometimes sleep late, I sometimes sleep so early, I have like no idea what's going on.

[Brief pause to sleep]

I just woke up ahaha. It looks like I was too lazy to figure out what to say. Oh well... I'm just gonna torture you guys. Thanks for the song Dex!

Ewan Ko

Di niya sinabi pero may nagsabi
Gusto na yata kasama ka parati
Pero ewan ko, ewan ko
Naubos na ang pera sa kakalakwatsa
Gusto na yata parati kang kasama
Pero ewan ko, ewan ko

Pre chorus:
Napapansin mo na yata
Nakakahiya naman
Gusto lang naman kitang titigan.

Chorus:

Napapalingon tuwing ika'y dumadaan
Napapangiti di ko alam ang dahilan
Alam kong hindi pepwedeng maging tayo
Pero minsan nag-iiba ang ikot ng.. ang ikot ng mundo

Susmaryosep ang dila ay sumabit
Napahiya na di na makalapit
Pero ewan ko ewan ko

Pero

(pre chorus)
(chorus)

Napapalingon tuwing ika'y dumadaan
Napapangiti di ko alam ang dahilan

Napapalingon tuwing ika'y dumadaan
Napapangiti di ko alam ang dahilan

Alam kong hindi pepwedeng maging tayo
Pero minsan nag-iiba ang ikot ng.. ang ikot ng mundo

A Pretty Long Walk

Aha! Today I will not torture my faithful readers with another set of lyrics that will only serve to remind them how much I love music and how sentimental I'm feeling nowadays. Today I was brave enough to travel by bus and train to San Francisco all alone, and had the best time. I only passed by most of the tourist attractions and was not able to ride any of the tour trolleys or cable cars. I still have like, three weekends to hang around over there (tomorrow I might go to Oakland City Center just to have a look around, MAYBE get my nails done, and buy an Oakland shirt for my favorite person :), then study for half the day ). I drank some Irish coffee though, which was supposed to be the original as brought to the US by some guy. In effect I had a coffee and a swig of Irish whiskey at around 12:00 pm. I did a lot of shopping so I ended up just eating clam chowder on sourdough bread a little after lunch.

Mmm.. does that look tasty to you? It was! I think I should try crab cakes at one of the better restaurants one of these weekends. :). So, since I didn't do the tour, what else did I do? Well I mostly walked around and took a lot of pictures without me in them hahaha... Except for a few with my face looking really huge, just to prove that I was actually the one taking the pictures and not some random person.

Here's a nonsensical picture of one of the BART trains (AKA public transportation). The seats are cushioned, a far cry from the ass-hating seats of the MTA over at NY:

Here's a boring fountain which I have no idea why I took a picture of:

One of the many docks. This one was my favorite.


Boudin's Sourdough Bread Bakery:

Ghirardelli Square. Chocolate!!!

Me at the Ghirardelli chocolate shop:

I found a quaint little artist's gallery near Ghirardelli Square. Unfortunately, it was closed so I couldn't come inside, meaning I had to be content with looking from outside, and I forgot the artist's name. But it features paintings of people and animals with doe-like eyes. This particular one leapt at me, as you can imagine (for those who know about BoomBoom):

Another one of the paintings from outside (haha u can almost see me taking the picture, obviously I took this from outside a glass window):

Hmm.. obviously I have yet to take a picture of something substantial. HAHAHA. I think I'll leave that to when I'm actually using a digital camera, and there's someone willing to take my picture :P.

I had a lot of fun, though. This kind of life is worth it, if I could only deal with the only real problem I have with it. It's not the traveling, the tiredness, or anything of that sort. It's the distance. *sigh* Oh well. It's time to study. I actually have to earn all this stuff I shopped for.

Wala Nang Hahanapin Pa

Sa tuwing tayo't magkakalayo

hindi matahimik ang puso ko

bawat sandali hanap kita

'di mapakali hanggang muling makita ka

dahil kung ika'y makita ng

labis labis ang tuwang nadarama

magisnan lamang ang kislap ng iyong mata

kahit ano pa ay kakayanin ko na





Basta't kasama kita

lahat magagawa

lahat ay maiaalay sa'yo

basta't kasama kita

walang kailangan pa

wala nang hahanapin pa

basta't kasama kita


giliw,sana ay ikaw na nga

ang siyang mananatiling kasama ko

dahil kung ika'y mawawala

pati lahat sa buhay ko'y maglalaho

ngunit...


Basta't kasama kita

lahat magagawa

lahat ay maiaalay sa'yo

basta't kasama kita

walang kailangan pa

wala nang hahanapin pa

basta't kasama kita



walang kailangan pa

wala nang hahanapin pa

basta't kasama kita

This Side

"It's foreign on this side
but it feels like I'm home again.
There's no place to hide
but I don't think I'm scared... :)"

-- This Side (Nickel Creek)

*sigh* My flight back to NY was delayed for like 2 hrs last Thursday. And the same thing happened to my flight back to CA tonight. The fates have conspired to ruin my schedule. I arrive at around 11:45 pm, meaning that it would be almost 3 am back in NY, an awful time to announce to the important people in my life that I just came in. Oh well. (Written on the plane)

I keep going shopping for food or clothes carrying all the crap I need for work. Meaning I lug arond a laptop and a book that's even heavier than that, while getting groceries or clothes. I always end up walking with like a ton of stuff and with people looking at me wondering if I'd gone nuts. The kicker is that I usually wear 3-inch boots. Why do I always do this to myself? A while ago some random guy at the store commented that I must have big muscles to carry around all that food. Yeah right. Big muscles or a lot of stupidity.

All ryty, back to work! I can't believe the weekend's over. :) *sigh* 2 weeks nanaman.

Apologies

I've been so incredibly selfish, stupid and insensitive, bordering on mean these past few days. I just wanna say I'm sorry. But I guess that's all I can say. I have like, no right to say anything right now. So there.

-*-*-*-

Let's move on to the shallow stuff. I think I've become addicted to music. I do not do anything without Freddie nowadays.. unless JLo (my laptop) is at hand, she also plays music. If any of you are wondering why my laptop is called JLo, a friend of mine commented that this laptop has a huge ass (the battery sticking out back), somewhat like, well, some ladies out there. So it occurred to me to call her JLo (one of my favorite artists, hahahhaa, back before her Bennifer days).

-*-*-*-

I'm kind of depressed about not being able to watch TV. There's just so much to do.. well, actually I haven't been accomplishing too much these days. I spend too much time dwelling on whatever it is that my life is right now. Too much time that all that's left isn't even enough to handle all the studying that I should be doing right about now. One of my friends asked me if I had already finished that XML class we signed up for. It's supposed to be done by January 20th, and yet I think I barely remember what the heck I studied before (I'm about halfway through). Plus I'm supposed to start a Java Web Development study group on Tuesday, (for which there is a course I must finish every week). Hmm.. I am actually supposed to be developing in ColdFusion, so why have I signed up for Java Web Development? I'm such a freakin' mess right now. But at least, I'm happy. In a way. :)

-*-*-*-

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Flashback:

"You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy." -- Friends (Monica Geller)

Here Is Gone

Wala lang. As usual, nice song.

Here Is Gone
Googoo Dolls


You and I got somethin
But it’s all and then it’s nuthin to me, yeah
And I got my defenses
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah

And we wake up in the breakdown
With the things we never thought we could be, yeah

I’m not the one who broke you
I’m not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah

I’m not the one who broke you
I’m not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don’t need the fallout
Of all the past that’s in between us
And I’m not holding on
And all your lies weren’t enough to keep me here

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling

I know it’s out there
I know it’s out there
And I can feel you falling

I know it’s out there
I know it’s out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

I know it’s out there
I know it’s out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

Hanging By A Moment

Before when this song was really popular, I didn't understand it, or I wasn't really sure what it meant, so I didn't care too much for it. Now I've come to appreciate it. Share ko lang sa inyo.

Hanging By A Moment
Lifehouse


Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you

Disclaimer: Gets niyo na yon. At para sa di maka-gets, di na kailangan ng disclaimer. Hahaha!

-*-*-*-*-

I went snowboarding!! It was a lot of fun, but also a lot of pain :). One time I almost blacked out coz of a really bad fall. But I got some cruise time before that at least.

Is It Over

I'm down a one-way street

With a one-night stand, With a one track mind

Out in no-man´s land

(The punishment sometimes don´t seem to fit the crime)



Yeah there´s a hole in my soul

But one thing I´ve learned

For every love letter written

There´s another burned

(So you tell me how it´s gonna be this time)



Is it over, Is it over

´Cause I'm blowin´ out the flame



Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns the knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find is nothing there girl

Yeah I swear, I'm telling you girl yeah ´cause

There´s a hole in my soul that´s been killing me forever

It´s a place where a garden never grows

There´s a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better

´Cause your love´s like a thorn without a rose



I'm as dry as a seven-year drought

I got dust for tears

And I'm all tapped out

(Sometimes I feel broken and can´t get fixed)



I know there´s been all kinds of shoes underneath your bed

Now I sleep with my boots on but you´re still in my head

(And something tells me this time I'm down to my last licks)



´Cause if it´s over, Then it´s over

And it´s driving me insane



Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns the knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find is nothing there girl

Yeah I swear, I'm telling you girl yeah ´cause

There´s a hole im my soul that´s been killing me forever

It´s a place where a garden never grows

There´s a hole im my soul, Yeah, I should have known better

´Cause your love´s like a thorn without a rose



If it´s over, It is over

´Cause I'm blowin´ out the flame



Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns the knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find

is nothing there girl yeah I swear

I'm telling you girl, yeah ´cause

There´s a hole in my soul that´s been killing me forever

It´s a place where a garden never grows

There´s a hole in my soul, Yeah, I should have known better

´Cause your love´s like a thorn without a rose

Goodbye...

The right thing is usually the hardest thing to do.

I want to thank Jessie, who, out of the many people who talked to me, was the only one who really knew what to say.

I want to say sorry to all the people that I've hurt, especially 3 persons who I will not even dare mention.

At para sa mga mahal ko sa buhay, kasiyahan niyo lang ang gusto kong makita.

All right back to the grinder.

Burnout

Kaya bang agapan ang burnout?

Hayh. Minsan ata, yun nalang ang daan, wala nang iba.

Nakakapagod din ang buhay.

-*-*-

BLURRY
Puddle of Mudd

Everything’s so blurry
And everyone’s so fake
And everybody’s so empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I’ll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There’s oceans in between us
But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
There’s noone left that’s real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
There’s oceans in between us
But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it my face

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to runaway
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you where to runaway

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it my face

This pain you gave to me

You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

For You

This is dedicated to a very good friend of mine. I know how you feel, keep your head up, love can be unconditional. Haha!

Let Me Go
3 Doors Down

One more kiss could be the best thing
One more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
This seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
This seems real to me

You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me go...
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I know...
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you dont know me